On Sunday, I tested for my TaeKwonDoe High White Belt. In order to pass, I had to break a real board. I was the very first person called and I didn't break the board on my first try even though I thought my kick should have broke the board.
My heart started racing. My cheeks were hot and all eyes were on me. I tried again. I still didn't break the board on tries 3, 4, and 5. I sat down as the next nine people broke their boards.
I sat on the YMCA gym floor breathing and rubbing my heel. I wanted to break that board. I knew I could do it. It seemed like all my hard work in class was more determined to leave my brain than I was to keep it inside of me.
I felt like a character in a movie as I thought about all I had overcome in order to be ready to test. There were times attending class was a challenge: My kids, my husband, my other commitments always seemed to need me more than going to class. At one point, I had to be honest with myself and figure out how badly I wanted my black belt. The answer: Badly. There was always going to be something in my life to stop me: I could either make excuses or go for it.
The testers came back to me. I put the past behind me and broke my very first board.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Cold Revenge
There are times where our house is like a clown car of kids. Extra kids keep coming in and the neighbors must wonder how they all magically fit, when the noise is going to stop, and if they are ever going to stop pouring out the doors.
Friday was one of the those nights where we had extra kids. Things were pretty mellow and everyone was getting along well. Xbox custody seemed to be shared with little drama and it was finally time to attempt to quiet the house. I was not foolish to believe that everyone was going to sleep.
After Lauren and her friend had cozied into their fort, Jonathon took it upon himself to think it would be a great opportunity to scare them with a deep voiced, "Raaahhhhrrr!!" The girls screamed. And then yelled at Jon and his friend. And then proceeded to tell me about the near heart attack they experienced while Jon and his friend proceed to laugh. Finally, everyone was separated and settled for the night.
The next morning, Lauren and her friend went outside to play. I thought nothing of it. When a very disgruntled Jon's friend walked up the steps and said, "Why did you wake us up so meanly?" I was confused. He asked why I was banging on the windows. Jon was soon upstairs and we pieced the story together: Two young ladies had been throwing snowballs at Jon's window knowing the boys were sleeping. Although the boys wanted me to exact some kind of punishment, I pointed out that I would then have to punish them for what happened last night. The boys exchanged sheepish grins. I blew my bangs out of my face so I wouldn't laugh.
The moral of the story: Sisters always get their revenge.
Friday was one of the those nights where we had extra kids. Things were pretty mellow and everyone was getting along well. Xbox custody seemed to be shared with little drama and it was finally time to attempt to quiet the house. I was not foolish to believe that everyone was going to sleep.
After Lauren and her friend had cozied into their fort, Jonathon took it upon himself to think it would be a great opportunity to scare them with a deep voiced, "Raaahhhhrrr!!" The girls screamed. And then yelled at Jon and his friend. And then proceeded to tell me about the near heart attack they experienced while Jon and his friend proceed to laugh. Finally, everyone was separated and settled for the night.
The next morning, Lauren and her friend went outside to play. I thought nothing of it. When a very disgruntled Jon's friend walked up the steps and said, "Why did you wake us up so meanly?" I was confused. He asked why I was banging on the windows. Jon was soon upstairs and we pieced the story together: Two young ladies had been throwing snowballs at Jon's window knowing the boys were sleeping. Although the boys wanted me to exact some kind of punishment, I pointed out that I would then have to punish them for what happened last night. The boys exchanged sheepish grins. I blew my bangs out of my face so I wouldn't laugh.
The moral of the story: Sisters always get their revenge.
Monday, March 4, 2013
Teens and Trees
You know what's really hard about raising middle schoolers besides everything?
Not giving into the self-doubt that you as a parent are on the right parenting track. There are times when you are walking that track shoulder to shoulder with other parents, other parents are way ahead of you, some parents are way behind you, and other parents are so far off the course you wonder if you should be doing it differently or if they bothered reading the directions to get to the course.
I really like my teenagers. All in all, in spite of the struggles, and because of the good times, I have the privilege of seeing glimpses into the men they will become one day. I am blown away by their compassion, their humor, and their negotiating skills.
There are days that it feels like I am not doing enough to prepare for them the world or more accurately: They think their father and I are doing our jobs a little to well to prepare them for the world. Truthfully, it can be exhausting, but obviously necessary, to maintain consistent parenting standards.
One day, I was heart-weary in the way only parents can be of fighting the same battles, when I read this verse from Luke 6:43 "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit." I stopped what I was doing and took a deep breath. As I breathed, peace just filled my body. I knew in my heart Rich and I are "good trees" and we're doing our very best to give our four "branches" the best resources at our disposal. Those resources include our time, our faith, our family histories, and our community of friends to support their endeavors.
I opened my eyes and I was still the parent of middle schoolers. There was no changing that fact. I, however, am more confident my husband and I are on the right path.
Not giving into the self-doubt that you as a parent are on the right parenting track. There are times when you are walking that track shoulder to shoulder with other parents, other parents are way ahead of you, some parents are way behind you, and other parents are so far off the course you wonder if you should be doing it differently or if they bothered reading the directions to get to the course.
I really like my teenagers. All in all, in spite of the struggles, and because of the good times, I have the privilege of seeing glimpses into the men they will become one day. I am blown away by their compassion, their humor, and their negotiating skills.
There are days that it feels like I am not doing enough to prepare for them the world or more accurately: They think their father and I are doing our jobs a little to well to prepare them for the world. Truthfully, it can be exhausting, but obviously necessary, to maintain consistent parenting standards.
One day, I was heart-weary in the way only parents can be of fighting the same battles, when I read this verse from Luke 6:43 "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit." I stopped what I was doing and took a deep breath. As I breathed, peace just filled my body. I knew in my heart Rich and I are "good trees" and we're doing our very best to give our four "branches" the best resources at our disposal. Those resources include our time, our faith, our family histories, and our community of friends to support their endeavors.
I opened my eyes and I was still the parent of middle schoolers. There was no changing that fact. I, however, am more confident my husband and I are on the right path.
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