Breaking Board

On Sunday, I tested for my TaeKwonDoe High White Belt.  In order to pass, I had to break a real board.  I was the very first person called and I didn't break the board on my first try even though I thought my kick should have broke the board.

My heart started racing.  My cheeks were hot and all eyes were on me.  I tried again.  I still didn't break the board on tries 3, 4, and 5.  I sat down as the next nine people broke their boards.

I sat on the YMCA gym floor breathing and rubbing my heel.  I wanted to break that board.  I knew I could do it.  It seemed like all my hard work in class was more determined to leave my brain than I was to keep it inside of me.

I felt like a character in a movie as I thought about all I had overcome in order to be ready to test.  There were times attending class was a challenge:  My kids, my husband, my other commitments always seemed to need me more than going to class.  At one point, I had to be honest with myself and  figure out how badly I wanted my black belt.  The answer:  Badly.  There was always going to be something in my life to stop me: I could either make excuses or go for it.

The testers came back to me.  I put the past behind me and broke my very first board.