How I Convinced Lauren to Wear Underwear (By Request)

One of the challenges of keeping a blog about the (mis)adventures of the kids is when we are having a relatively quite period, it does not occur to me to update the blog. To report something like: "The kids are too afraid to pull something after the Minnesota trip and have been reasonably well behaved." is accurate, but not very entertaining. However, at my friends wedding reception last night, which was informal and a wonderful time, it was requested that the story of how I...um..."convinced" Lauren to wear big girl underwear be put in the blog.

Since there has not been much to report, here is the story:

In mid-May, Princess Lauren was well on her way to becoming diaper free. Everything was wonderful, we had some accidents, typical potty training stuff that I am not going elaborate upon. And then it just stopped. She was wearing diapers. That was it. She would cry and scream and lay in her bed and take her underwear off and stay in her bed. She was NOT wearing underwear. It really isn't uncommon for kids to go backward or want the comfort of diapers when potty training, but not to this degree.

So right, wrong, or indifferent, but probably mostly wrong, Rich and I let her go back to diapers, thinking it would only last for a little bit, she would be uncomfortable in them and want her underwear back. MOSTLY WRONG. Lauren wore her diapers until they were so heavy they would just plop off onto the floor and then would try to tape them back on. She would look like a little penguin waddling around with these disgusting things on, but she was afraid to let me change her, less I said the dreaded "should we put your big girl underwear on you?" or "Do you want to go potty on the toilet?"

Finally, I had enough of this. One Sunday night I looked Princess Lauren in eye before she went to bed. This was the conversation:

Me: "Lauren, When you wake up tomorrow morning you are not wearing diapers anymore, you are wearing big girl underwear. Do you understand?"

Lauren: "Yes, mommy."

Me: "Diaper in garbage, underwear on butt."

Monday arrived and Lauren was doing everything in power NOT to give up that diaper. So I did what every good mom would do. I brought out THE BRIBE. I really had no intention of bribing Lauren to take off her diaper until the words were out my mouth, but once the words were out, there was no going back. I simply asked, "Who wants a Popsicle before breakfast?" Which was met with a course of, "I do's! and "Me's!" So I replied that "Whoever is dressed and wearing underwear before the timer goes off gets a Popsicle for breakfast!"

Which worked great for the boys. Lauren really had to think about giving up that diaper. She still was not so sure that a Popsicle was a great trade for a life time of being diaper free, but she did make the trade before the deadline. To date, she has been doing a respectable job with potty training. And as reported in a previous blog, has not only been wearing her underwear, but showing them to entire gas stations.

Also, I would be remiss if I did not point out that while I was trying to bribe Lauren, Noah was questioning me the entire time about my parenting skills with the following questions. "Mom, why are you giving us Popsicles so early in morning? What is a bribe? Do you think it's a good idea to bribe Lauren this way? You don't bribe us like this. Are you sure this is the right thing to do?"

Let me tell you there is nothing like a seven year olds questions giving voice to the misgivings already in your head to bolster your wavering confidence.

I told Noah flat out that I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, but if he had any better ideas I was open to suggestions. Otherwise, he had to two choices: Either eat his bribe and be quiet, or go in his room without his bribe and be quiet. Wisely, Noah took choice number one and everyone was happily wearing their underwear and slurping on Popsicles.

Well, Jerry and Jim, I hope you enjoyed your blog request since your other requests are definitely not going to make it into the blog; this blog maintains a rating of PG-13. It used to be G, but I feel my kids choice of language warrants a higher rating.