I have lost another six weeks of life to (mis)adventures, cajoling, and general craziness. While I can assure you I have definitely NOT been sleeping through said time, I have not had many blocks of time to sit down in order to update the blog. So while the pie is baking in the oven for the church function we are attending in a few hours, the kids are being reasonably peaceful, and the Packers are on the TV, I will forgo some sleep and finally catch everyone up on some of the more major events of the past six weeks.
Well, Noah dodged the marriage bullet. Sadly, following that episode he became addicted to chewable Tylenol. The addiction was most likely a result of his attempts to dull the pain his legs incurred from running away from his overzealous, determined, future bride and her future bridemaids on the playground, as well as headaches induced by thinking up escape plans. We did manage to avoid an expensive rehad stint; Rich and I made him quit cold turkey.
In other Noah drama, he was Darth Vader for Halloween and dressed as such for his party at school. The day of the party though, the weather was quite chilly as Wisconsin mornings in October tend to be, but the child absolutely refused to wear his winter jacket. The following is the actual, honest goodness conversation Noah and I had before he left for school that morning:
Me: "Noah you need to wear your jacket. It's very cold outside."
Noah (full costume, best seven year James Earl Jones voice): "Darth Vader doesn't wear a jacket."
Me: "Darth's Vader's mom told him to wear a jacket. Now."
Noah: "Darth Vader doesn't have a mom. Darth Vader is evil. Darth Vader doesn't wear a jacket.
So at this point, I am dying of laughter on the inside. Noah is saying this in his best James Earl Jones voice, full height, full costume, marching around the house, humming the Imperial Death March at full volume, determined not to wear his jacket to school. Rich, Jonathon, and Brandon are not attempting to hide their laughter. Jonathon is actually laughing and warning Noah that he is probably going to ended up grounded. And part of me is like, okay kid, you wanna throw down, you really wanna challenge me and start my Wednesday, coffeeless morning like this, I am going to beat you at your own game. Let's go. Game on. Here's part two of the conversation:
Me (yelling as Noah is walking out the door, thinking he is victorious and the Dark Side has triumphed): "Hey, Noah, Darth Vader actually started out as Annakin, so he did have a mom, so you're wearing your jacket to school today!"
Jonathon and Noah (chiming in, together, excited): "Guess, what!! Annakin's mom was kidnapped, tortured, and killed, so no jacket!"
Me(smug): "But not when he was Seven years old!! Annakin's mom was still alive when he was seven years old and he wasn't even sold yet, so, Noah has to wear his jacket to school because He is actually PRE-DARTH VADER!!"
All of sudden, Noah's little Darth Vader shoulders, cape and all, slump in defeat, and the voice behind the mask says, miserably, still in character: "Darth Vader has been defeated. Darth Vader will wear his jacket to school." And me, being the model of maturity that I am, replied, "Remember Darth Vader, the Force always wins."
And just to make my non-caffienated morning more special, in a motion of support to his brother, I hear Jonathon tell Noah on the way to the mini van, thinking he is out of ear shot of me: "Remember Noah, our Mom is more evil than Darth Vader."
Just because Jonathon is right doesn't mean I need the positive reinforcement.
Another feat of super human strength we accomplished as a family is we have started attending church. I am so proud of this feat. We attend Redeemer Lutheran Church and it is an amazing experience. The kid enjoy going to Sunday School. While they do that, Rich and I attend a parenting group. Afterwards, sometimes Rich leaves for work, Lauren and Brandon go to Nursery, and Jon, Noah, and I go to worship. Tonight we are going to the new member dinner. Next week, on his ninth birthday, Jonathon will receive his first Bible during church service. What an amazing milestone for my son! And, for the first time ever, all four kids will be in the Christmas Pageant. (Can you say "The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever?") But I wanted to start attending church as a family, so I circled the Sunday after Labor Day on the calendar and just did it. Two months later, here we are, involved members of an incredible church community and a stronger family because of it.
Jonathon is rostered on a traveling soccer team for spring. He is reading and writing at grade level. All the hard work Rich and I did last year has more than paid dividends this year. Brandon is now five going on forty. He has left that toddler stage and has entered that helpful little boy stage. It happened so suddenly that I don't always trust it and don't always know what to do with it. So I find chores for him to do. He, more than all the kids, loves to go to church and helping Pastor Kurt. Oh my goodness, do they Love Brandon at church. And Ms. Lauren finally quit showing her underwear (Big Sigh of Relief!!) to the general public. She is also growing like a bad weed. She likes making me call all my friends so we can go out to lunch or go to their houses when her brothers are school, so she can be extra spoiled. "Lauren, would you like a Popsicle? Lauren, would you the princess cup? Lauren, do you want go for a special ride with Mommy and I? Of course you can have gum Lauren, I keep it here for you." It's good to be a Princess.
Speaking of super hero feats, Brett Farve just set (Another) record, this one being one of three quarterbacks to defeat all the other 31 teams in NFL, and my Packers are 7-1. Given the level of sheer exhaustion I am operating on today, we still have the church dinner which attend, and third grade homework to complete, this seems a perfectly arbitrary factoid on which to end this update.
Otherwise, know that the kids are operating on perfectly normal levels of chaos, Rich is opening a new store in West Bend, WI, on November 20, 2007, and I am a stay at home mom that never manages to get her the cleanliness of her home under control.
In other words, nothing has changed, and I will have more horror stories with which to entertain you.
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