As I woke up Monday morning, the third day of traveling, I mentioned to Rich that it would be nice to find a good cup of coffee. We had a coffee maker in the room, but since I can only have coffee a few (like two or three) times a month, when I decide to drink coffee, I want what I want. In this case, it was not a cup of Torke hotel coffee that had been sitting for a very long time which I craved. For you video gamers in the reading audience, little did I know I had just embarked on what was to become a side quest in the over all mission called our “vacation.”
Rich and I forced the children to wake up, dress themselves, and eat breakfast. No major breakfast hassles outside of normal family/kid stuff, which means that there were probably twenty of them and I am so numb I find them unblog-worthy. The van was then unlocked, aired out, children strapped in, electronic devices turned on, and the GPS set for destination: Jewel Cave.
On the way to Jewel Cave, we did not pass a single coffee shop, not even a Starbucks. If I was so inclined, I could have started smoking, as there were plenty of smoke shops, but alas, no smoke shops that served coffee. Irked, but unconcerned about the coffee, I settled in to enjoy the incredible mountains and ponderosa pines that South Dakota had to offer.
Rich and I were commenting on the scenery and enjoying the overall view. At one point, we asked the kids to really take a look around them and appreciate the scenery. SEE the scenery. The boys response: “Ooo..more trees, more rocks, more grass!” in perfect three part harmony. Imagine being in a mini van with surround sound sarcasm. Clearly, the kids were in South Dakota for different reasons than Rich and I; scenery was not one of them.
We had reserved our tour for Jewel Cave a week in advance because their tours sellout so fast. The kids thought Rich and I were horribly mean for making them pack long sleeves and pants to take the tour (which is recommended on the website as the average temperature in the cave is a brisk 46 degrees Fahrenheit at all times and located 70 feet below ground). Thankfully, upon arrival they witnessed other mean parents whose children were dressed in a similar fashion. Before leaving, I had been tipped off about something called the Junior Ranger Program. Basically, the kids can ask for a worksheet, look at the exhibits, signage around them, glean tidbits from the tour, fill in the worksheet, and then turn it for a Junior Ranger Badge.*
All four kids completed the sheet and earned their badge. Rich and I helped Brandon with the reading and spelling parts. Rich helped Lauren with all of her sheet, but by the end of our tour she understood why she was touring Jewel Cave, all 723 steps of it. To hear her and Brandon tell it now, they walked each one of those steps; the reality is not quite as glamorous. (By the end of the trip, Rich and I had lost five pounds from all the walking and our biceps looked great from taking turns carrying those two kids.)
After a late lunch and a trip to a candy store, we headed back the hotel for a night of swimming and Papa John’s pizza. Since Papa John’s went out of business in Stevens Point and our hotel pool had a water slide and our backyard does not, this was a huge deal. It was also a great deal of fun. By the end of swimming pool time, Lauren and I were water slide professionals. Brandon made Rich climb the steps to the pool four times but never went down the slide. Jonathon and Noah were going down the slide head first, in chains and making trains. They were even trying to talk Brandon and Lauren into some crazy stunts that were quickly vetoed by me due to concerns of safeness and legality.
When the pool started getting crazy busy at 8:30pm, it was the perfect time for us to head back to the room and begin what we thought was bath/shower time for our chlorinated kids, but was really the beginning of the insidious TV marathon called The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. Apparently, the kids had some crazy idea they were on vacation too and they should be able to unwind by watching the Disney X channel. For the Disney Channel X uneducated, I think X stands for even more eXtreme crap playing eXtremely more often. As to the aforementioned show, you are not missing anything; I promise. I endured four days of watching it, so trust me on this one. (I had watched it before, but in very small, small doses, occasionally glancing up from the book I was reading.)
We then played a rousing game of “Who is Sleeping Where Tonight?” No one was voted out of the hotel room, so we closed our eyes and drifted to sleep in anticipation of our next trip to Mount Rushmore.
* Yes, I confess! My husband and I took our kids to South Dakota this summer and made them learn stuff! We forced them to really look and read the exhibits! We made them *hold onto your monitors* do critical thinking activities *gasp*! They are now more informed and more educated then before they left Wisconsin. You caught me red handed!
Monday, August 3, 2009
The South Dakota Saga (Day 2 - Sunday)
Sunday morning Rich and I were mostly awake because we had no choice. Everyone was dressed, the minivan was packed for the five hour trip to Rapid City, and all of us were HUNGRY for breakfast. Upon scoping out the breakfast situation at the Econolodge, the most accurate description I can think of is 40 cranky travelers and their kids, one waffle maker, six four-seater tables, and Torke coffee, all in an area the size of two smallish mini vans. Now, I am usually one that does not pass up a free breakfast, however, there is a point where I believe I invite my own pain (as this continued blogging of this trip will prove). As we were standing in line, I looked Rich. Rich looked at me. Our eyes met. I mouthed the word, “Perkins.” Rich nodded and sighed in relief. We quickly herded children, making sure we only herded the ones that belonged to us, and headed out the door.
After an uneventful trip to Perkins and Wal-mart, our clan was on the way to the Corn Palace. Anticipation was high. The temperature was higher. Tempers were even higher, but once we settled our bottoms into our seats, the intricate dance for which electronic device needed to be charged in the one working lighter plug-in began in earnest and kept the clan quite occupied. We arrived in Mitchell with a minimum of piddle emergencies* and trauma. The family watched the twelve minute video about the history of the Corn Palace. (Please note: Brandon did so under extreme duress, which caused me extreme stress.) Three of the children had their picture taken with the cheesy plastic corn on the cob in front of the Corn Palace; Brandon refused (little did I know that would be another reoccurring theme throughout the trip. Please reference the family photograph in front of Mount Rushmore).
Since no one in our group was overly impressed by the CP, it was time to lock and load the mini van and head off to the Badlands National Park. It was so cool to watch the kids scamper and jump all over the Badland formations. Rich was convinced that Lauren was going to tumble over and down, down into one of the seemingly bottomless canyons of which she kept peering over the edge. The boys, upon seeing the “Beware of Rattlesnakes” sign, admittedly lost some of their bravo and the Badlands lost some of their mystique and coolness. Rich and I wanted to climb Harney Peak, the top from which you can see five states, but our kids were definitely not up to the 3.2 one way climb over unkind terrain, so that idea was quickly shelved as Rich and I were not up to carrying four kids over unkind terrain. We made a few more scenic stops in the Badlands and then proceeded to Wall Drug for our free water.
Wall Drug, in short, is another word for a tourist zoo. Ugh. Been there, done that, took some cheesy tourist pictures and was so very happy to leave. The best word to described Rich’s feeling of Wall Drug: appalled.
Once again, the adventure became interesting when hit our “homebase” located in Rapid City. We checked into the AmericInn and went to forage for supper. Rich and I, with the blessing of the children, decided that the T.G.I.Friday’s seemed like our best bet on a Sunday night. Here is a word of advice to future travelers: When the waitress tells you there has been a fire in the kitchen, just leave. No matter how hungry the kids are or how much the waitress reassures you everything is fine, just leave. Rich and I knew better then to stay as there were all kinds of invisible restaurant “red flags” that we chose to ignore. Noah summed up the experience best when he said, “Promise not to take us back there the entire time we are in South Dakota! That was not worth it!”
Rich and I agreed with Noah! It was then back to the AmericInn to set up our homebase for the next four days and try to get some shuteye. Everyone was quite tired, so everyone slept. In fact, some people snored, but it wasn’t the grown ups!
*piddle emergency: One of the kids screaming quite forcibly and at top volume, any of the following phrases: "I have to go the bathroom!" "I am going to wet it!" I have to go piddle right now!" The following phrases may be used as a follow up: "I am not going to make it!" "I reeaalllyyy have to go super badly!" These phrases should only be used after a gas station with a bathroom or a rest area have been passed on the interstate.
After an uneventful trip to Perkins and Wal-mart, our clan was on the way to the Corn Palace. Anticipation was high. The temperature was higher. Tempers were even higher, but once we settled our bottoms into our seats, the intricate dance for which electronic device needed to be charged in the one working lighter plug-in began in earnest and kept the clan quite occupied. We arrived in Mitchell with a minimum of piddle emergencies* and trauma. The family watched the twelve minute video about the history of the Corn Palace. (Please note: Brandon did so under extreme duress, which caused me extreme stress.) Three of the children had their picture taken with the cheesy plastic corn on the cob in front of the Corn Palace; Brandon refused (little did I know that would be another reoccurring theme throughout the trip. Please reference the family photograph in front of Mount Rushmore).
Since no one in our group was overly impressed by the CP, it was time to lock and load the mini van and head off to the Badlands National Park. It was so cool to watch the kids scamper and jump all over the Badland formations. Rich was convinced that Lauren was going to tumble over and down, down into one of the seemingly bottomless canyons of which she kept peering over the edge. The boys, upon seeing the “Beware of Rattlesnakes” sign, admittedly lost some of their bravo and the Badlands lost some of their mystique and coolness. Rich and I wanted to climb Harney Peak, the top from which you can see five states, but our kids were definitely not up to the 3.2 one way climb over unkind terrain, so that idea was quickly shelved as Rich and I were not up to carrying four kids over unkind terrain. We made a few more scenic stops in the Badlands and then proceeded to Wall Drug for our free water.
Wall Drug, in short, is another word for a tourist zoo. Ugh. Been there, done that, took some cheesy tourist pictures and was so very happy to leave. The best word to described Rich’s feeling of Wall Drug: appalled.
Once again, the adventure became interesting when hit our “homebase” located in Rapid City. We checked into the AmericInn and went to forage for supper. Rich and I, with the blessing of the children, decided that the T.G.I.Friday’s seemed like our best bet on a Sunday night. Here is a word of advice to future travelers: When the waitress tells you there has been a fire in the kitchen, just leave. No matter how hungry the kids are or how much the waitress reassures you everything is fine, just leave. Rich and I knew better then to stay as there were all kinds of invisible restaurant “red flags” that we chose to ignore. Noah summed up the experience best when he said, “Promise not to take us back there the entire time we are in South Dakota! That was not worth it!”
Rich and I agreed with Noah! It was then back to the AmericInn to set up our homebase for the next four days and try to get some shuteye. Everyone was quite tired, so everyone slept. In fact, some people snored, but it wasn’t the grown ups!
*piddle emergency: One of the kids screaming quite forcibly and at top volume, any of the following phrases: "I have to go the bathroom!" "I am going to wet it!" I have to go piddle right now!" The following phrases may be used as a follow up: "I am not going to make it!" "I reeaalllyyy have to go super badly!" These phrases should only be used after a gas station with a bathroom or a rest area have been passed on the interstate.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The Saga of South Dakota (Day 1 - Saturday)
As a parent, there are times you know certain moments will set the tone for an entire experience. As I was waiting for our late night supper at Arby’s in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, I knew that that the following exchange between Jonathon, Noah, and I was going be one of those defining moments.
To give you a little (or perhaps too much) background, Rich has always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. It has been one of his dreams for as long as I have known him, so in interest of pursuing his dream (and in spite of Jon’s: “Why do we have to pursue Dad’s dream” continued four month diatribe) we packed up and headed out west to South Dakota.
We arrived in Sioux Falls, tired, cranky, and hungry, around 8:00pm to a busy, but not fabulous Econolodge. Rich and I decided the best strategy would be to divide and conquer; he would check us into the hotel and I would scarce up some food at Arby’s. We also divided children in a 3:1 ratio; he had Brandon and I had Jonathon, Noah and Lauren.
The kids and I are waiting for our food in Arby’s when rather suddenly, Noah looks at Jonathon and rather indignantly says: “Jonathon, you are not dying of the world's deadliest rash! You are NOT going to die before we get back to Wisconsin! Mom wouldn’t have even taken you on this trip if you were that sick!” Now, I am usually on top of deadly rashes as they pertain to my children, even contagious rashes for that matter, but I was admittedly clueless on this one. Jon, Noah, and I looked down at the “rash” in question. It looked like a well scratched, peeling sunburn…which was impossible because Jon lives in soccer gear had not recently been sunburned. My best guess at the time: Jon had some funkiness above his ankle leftover from wearing soccer pads and socks for half the year and never told me about it. It did not appear life threatening; truth be told the “deadly rash” in question looked like something a little Gold bond could take care of quite effectively.
I sighed. I closed my eyes and sighed again and prayed for patience or a quick lightening bolt to the forehead to end my misery and parenting woes. My headache worsened and I was still alive, so apparently, the prayer for patience was answered and I had to deal with the issue of the rash, or more accurately, the stunt Jon just pulled on Noah. “Really? REALLY?” I asked Jonathon, in exasperation, and trying not to let any laughter into my voice because sometimes the stuff these kids pull on each other does catch me off guard. Jon’s defense, “What? It’s funny! And it’s Noah. And he figured it out.”
I wish I could tell you I had some epiphany of a mom moment and turned it into something teachable for the kids. Nope. The three of us stood there laughing. Lauren looked at me and said, “ I don’t get it, my brothers are being kind of dumb. Is our food ready yet?” I did more shaking of my head and some more sighing, and told Jon not to pull it on Brandon. (“Mom, Brandon would just tell me to hurry up and die. I am not pulling it on him.”) However, I knew then and there this trip was going to be one for the books.
That night at the hotel provided less opportunity to relax or rest. Apparently, six of sleeping on top of each other was not quite enough entertainment for the night, so during lights out, Brandon took the mini flashlight he was using as a night light and shined it upon the ceiling. He then proceeded to place his hand over the beam, treating the other five of us to the image of his oversized shadow hand on the ceiling. Subsequently, gruesome sound effects for the shadow hand soon followed from the voices of the ten and under crowd, but no worries, the clichéd, necessary, and appropriate Stars Wars quotes were also included at no extra charge.
Thank goodness my head was already on a pillow. I could then 1) use it to muffle my screams and 2) not actively search out a brick wall to bang my head against when the other three children started begging for a turn with the flashlight to create their own shadow creations. The shadow hand was severed and I did a mystical sleep/dance while attempting to share a queen size bed with Brandon and Lauren. Really, I just wished for morning between unfitfull bursts of napping, but I like the previous description as it sounds less painful and implies that I might have caught some zzzz's.
To give you a little (or perhaps too much) background, Rich has always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. It has been one of his dreams for as long as I have known him, so in interest of pursuing his dream (and in spite of Jon’s: “Why do we have to pursue Dad’s dream” continued four month diatribe) we packed up and headed out west to South Dakota.
We arrived in Sioux Falls, tired, cranky, and hungry, around 8:00pm to a busy, but not fabulous Econolodge. Rich and I decided the best strategy would be to divide and conquer; he would check us into the hotel and I would scarce up some food at Arby’s. We also divided children in a 3:1 ratio; he had Brandon and I had Jonathon, Noah and Lauren.
The kids and I are waiting for our food in Arby’s when rather suddenly, Noah looks at Jonathon and rather indignantly says: “Jonathon, you are not dying of the world's deadliest rash! You are NOT going to die before we get back to Wisconsin! Mom wouldn’t have even taken you on this trip if you were that sick!” Now, I am usually on top of deadly rashes as they pertain to my children, even contagious rashes for that matter, but I was admittedly clueless on this one. Jon, Noah, and I looked down at the “rash” in question. It looked like a well scratched, peeling sunburn…which was impossible because Jon lives in soccer gear had not recently been sunburned. My best guess at the time: Jon had some funkiness above his ankle leftover from wearing soccer pads and socks for half the year and never told me about it. It did not appear life threatening; truth be told the “deadly rash” in question looked like something a little Gold bond could take care of quite effectively.
I sighed. I closed my eyes and sighed again and prayed for patience or a quick lightening bolt to the forehead to end my misery and parenting woes. My headache worsened and I was still alive, so apparently, the prayer for patience was answered and I had to deal with the issue of the rash, or more accurately, the stunt Jon just pulled on Noah. “Really? REALLY?” I asked Jonathon, in exasperation, and trying not to let any laughter into my voice because sometimes the stuff these kids pull on each other does catch me off guard. Jon’s defense, “What? It’s funny! And it’s Noah. And he figured it out.”
I wish I could tell you I had some epiphany of a mom moment and turned it into something teachable for the kids. Nope. The three of us stood there laughing. Lauren looked at me and said, “ I don’t get it, my brothers are being kind of dumb. Is our food ready yet?” I did more shaking of my head and some more sighing, and told Jon not to pull it on Brandon. (“Mom, Brandon would just tell me to hurry up and die. I am not pulling it on him.”) However, I knew then and there this trip was going to be one for the books.
That night at the hotel provided less opportunity to relax or rest. Apparently, six of sleeping on top of each other was not quite enough entertainment for the night, so during lights out, Brandon took the mini flashlight he was using as a night light and shined it upon the ceiling. He then proceeded to place his hand over the beam, treating the other five of us to the image of his oversized shadow hand on the ceiling. Subsequently, gruesome sound effects for the shadow hand soon followed from the voices of the ten and under crowd, but no worries, the clichéd, necessary, and appropriate Stars Wars quotes were also included at no extra charge.
Thank goodness my head was already on a pillow. I could then 1) use it to muffle my screams and 2) not actively search out a brick wall to bang my head against when the other three children started begging for a turn with the flashlight to create their own shadow creations. The shadow hand was severed and I did a mystical sleep/dance while attempting to share a queen size bed with Brandon and Lauren. Really, I just wished for morning between unfitfull bursts of napping, but I like the previous description as it sounds less painful and implies that I might have caught some zzzz's.
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