The Saga of South Dakota (Day 1 - Saturday)

As a parent, there are times you know certain moments will set the tone for an entire experience. As I was waiting for our late night supper at Arby’s in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, I knew that that the following exchange between Jonathon, Noah, and I was going be one of those defining moments.

To give you a little (or perhaps too much) background, Rich has always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. It has been one of his dreams for as long as I have known him, so in interest of pursuing his dream (and in spite of Jon’s: “Why do we have to pursue Dad’s dream” continued four month diatribe) we packed up and headed out west to South Dakota.

We arrived in Sioux Falls, tired, cranky, and hungry, around 8:00pm to a busy, but not fabulous Econolodge. Rich and I decided the best strategy would be to divide and conquer; he would check us into the hotel and I would scarce up some food at Arby’s. We also divided children in a 3:1 ratio; he had Brandon and I had Jonathon, Noah and Lauren.

The kids and I are waiting for our food in Arby’s when rather suddenly, Noah looks at Jonathon and rather indignantly says: “Jonathon, you are not dying of the world's deadliest rash! You are NOT going to die before we get back to Wisconsin! Mom wouldn’t have even taken you on this trip if you were that sick!” Now, I am usually on top of deadly rashes as they pertain to my children, even contagious rashes for that matter, but I was admittedly clueless on this one. Jon, Noah, and I looked down at the “rash” in question. It looked like a well scratched, peeling sunburn…which was impossible because Jon lives in soccer gear had not recently been sunburned. My best guess at the time: Jon had some funkiness above his ankle leftover from wearing soccer pads and socks for half the year and never told me about it. It did not appear life threatening; truth be told the “deadly rash” in question looked like something a little Gold bond could take care of quite effectively.

I sighed. I closed my eyes and sighed again and prayed for patience or a quick lightening bolt to the forehead to end my misery and parenting woes. My headache worsened and I was still alive, so apparently, the prayer for patience was answered and I had to deal with the issue of the rash, or more accurately, the stunt Jon just pulled on Noah. “Really? REALLY?” I asked Jonathon, in exasperation, and trying not to let any laughter into my voice because sometimes the stuff these kids pull on each other does catch me off guard. Jon’s defense, “What? It’s funny! And it’s Noah. And he figured it out.”

I wish I could tell you I had some epiphany of a mom moment and turned it into something teachable for the kids. Nope. The three of us stood there laughing. Lauren looked at me and said, “ I don’t get it, my brothers are being kind of dumb. Is our food ready yet?” I did more shaking of my head and some more sighing, and told Jon not to pull it on Brandon. (“Mom, Brandon would just tell me to hurry up and die. I am not pulling it on him.”) However, I knew then and there this trip was going to be one for the books.

That night at the hotel provided less opportunity to relax or rest. Apparently, six of sleeping on top of each other was not quite enough entertainment for the night, so during lights out, Brandon took the mini flashlight he was using as a night light and shined it upon the ceiling. He then proceeded to place his hand over the beam, treating the other five of us to the image of his oversized shadow hand on the ceiling. Subsequently, gruesome sound effects for the shadow hand soon followed from the voices of the ten and under crowd, but no worries, the clichéd, necessary, and appropriate Stars Wars quotes were also included at no extra charge.

Thank goodness my head was already on a pillow. I could then 1) use it to muffle my screams and 2) not actively search out a brick wall to bang my head against when the other three children started begging for a turn with the flashlight to create their own shadow creations. The shadow hand was severed and I did a mystical sleep/dance while attempting to share a queen size bed with Brandon and Lauren. Really, I just wished for morning between unfitfull bursts of napping, but I like the previous description as it sounds less painful and implies that I might have caught some zzzz's.