When Rich and I were first married, we went spent our first Easter together in Pittsburgh with his family. Me, never having been to Pittsburgh, was eager to see the sights. Rich, having grown up in the Pittsburgh area, was eager to show them to me. Alice, Rich's sister, was eager to stay home with a then six-month old Jonathon and spoil him rotten while we went sight seeing.
So, Rich and I set out to explore Steel City. I have to say Pittsburgh is an amazing city, like all big, older cities are wont to be. One of Rich's most favorite things to show me during our tour was Three Rivers Stadium. Every time we drove past ANYTHING he would reference in relation to Three Rivers Stadium.
"Look there's the old Clark Building....it's xxxx miles from Three Rivers Stadium." "Oh, that's the Carnegie Building...It's xxxx distance from Three Rivers Stadium" "Oh! Wow! (still driving the car, bending over me to look) Look out your window....We're driving right past Three Rivers Stadium!!!"
You get the idea. I was amused....and I totally got it....being from the fine football tradition of the Green Bay Packers myself...it was a classic case of a person taking pride in their team and their city.
So...between seeing the sights and yep, Three.Rivers.Stadium, Rich thought it would be super cool to ride the Duquesne Incline up to Mount Washington. He told me I would be able to see to fountain where the confluence of the actual three rivers meet...."You know the fountain that Al Micheals always shows on Monday Night Football." (Rich really said that.....I swear to Gawd.)
Rich was right: I loved the incline. We arrived at the top of Mount Washington and the view of the city is stunning. People watching was also fun: There were couples up there with arms around each other. There were generations of families talking to each other. There were older couples holding hands. And.....
There was my husband, looking over his city, proud and excited, beckoning me over:
"Amie, Amie, you have to see this!!"
Me (thinking he found the fountain) (excited): "What?!?"
Rich (eyes glittering, joyous, Christmas morning excited): "You can see inside of Three Rivers Stadium from here! That.is.so.COOL!!
Me (jaw open): burst of laughter....
Rich: "I wonder if they are open for tours!"
Me: "I have no idea. We can check. (still laughing)"
Sadly, Three Rivers was not open for tours at the time of our visit. Even sadder, they tore that stadium down before Rich could take his tour. Happily, I did find the fountain where the three rivers meet. Heinz Field and PNC Park now host the Steelers and the Pirates, I want to write "respectively," but it's difficult to write "respect" and the Pirates in the same sentence.
Although, I have been to PNC park and it is a beautiful stadium.
Rich and Jonathon have been to Heinz Field and their biggest complaint was the Steelers took a beating from the Colts. However, not much had changed in ten years, and Jon was still spoiled rotten at Aunt Alice's house.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
How I Ended Up with Custom Curtains
If you are among the brave souls that have more than one child, like me one day you may attempt to to spend “quality time” with your child. Let’s define “quality time” as one- on- one time spent in quiet conversation or active play, where the parent is not coming down on the child like the wrath of God for, say, the child artistically expressing themselves all over freshly painted walls with permanent marker.
So, in the interest of quality time, I invited Noah to run a few errands. However, we don’t call it quality time in our house, and it’s rarely, if ever, planned. Me: “Noah, wanna run errands with me?” Noah: “Yeah, great, let’s go.” Now, contrary to what I told the other children, I didn’t invite Noah on this trip because I love him the best, I invited him because I needed to check in with him about some things that were going on with him at school and desired to do so without the unfiltered and unasked for opinions of his other siblings.
At this point in the story, it is extremely important to note that Brandon was NOT happy at being excluded from “Noah and Mom quality time.”
Rich and I were about to find out exactly how displeased I had made Brandon.
Noah and I arrived home, and Rich and I jumped on the hamster wheel of bedtime routines. Just as I was about to release my final and favorite sigh of the night, “the-I-can-finally-put-on-my-pajamas-and-relax” sigh, I heard Rich’s curious and none-too-pleased voice ask, “What happened to the curtains?”
Now, my inner mom knew exactly what happened to curtains.
Brandon.
Brandon and his “It’s not fair I was left behind!” wrath happened to the curtains.
I didn’t even have to look to know in a fit of rage and jealousy, that child did something that was going to make me none-too-pleased just like Rich. I sighed. My inner mom sighed. Actually, I think she screamed, “It’s not fair!” and threw a temper-tantrum, but we walked downstairs anyway. I rubbed my hands over my face. I looked at Rich. I rubbed my hands over my face again. I shook my head.
Rich (holding part of cut curtains in his hand): “What happened here?”
Me: (resigned) “Brandon.”
Rich: (incredulous, but not surprised at the answer) “Why would he do something like this?
Me: (matter -of –fact voice): “Because I took Noah to the bank and not him.”
Rich: “What should we do?” Note: When your spouse asks you “What should we do?” It means he doesn’t have plan so you have 30 seconds to come up with something good.
Me (determined): “Get them out of bed. NOW”
Rich (rouses the troops): “Out of bed, NOW!! Your mother wants you in the entryway!! Note: Why isn’t it “WE want you in the entry way?”
Kids (confused, irritated, slightly afraid): “What’s going on? Whatever it is, I
didn’t do it…" and other assorted and appropriate kid phrases when you know your mother is mad, you know you might being going to down for a crime, but you aren’t sure which one you are busted for…
Me (pointing to the curtains): “Who cut the curtains?”
Kids: “NOT ME!!” (frantically looking around at each other to see who is going to crack so this conversation isn’t going to be prolonged, wishing I had discovered this when they were in school or Siberia)
Me (deep, calm breath so I don’t put them all eBay, non-yelling voice): “Okay. I totally get it. No one did it.” Pause. “Well, maybe Milo did it. He has been working hard on using on his mastery of scissors. Hmmm....”
Kids: Trading Suspicious Looks…Still no one confesses
Me (Waiting…No one cracks…. Calm voice):”Here is the deal. Everyone is grounded from all electronics until I find out who cut my curtains. No TV. No DS. No Wii. Nothing. Don’t look at them, Don’t breathe on them, and Don’t dream about them. Grounded. Done.”
Kids: Total silence. Followed by: “ALL OF US!?!” and “That’s no fair!”
Me: “Get back to bed. Good night.”
At that point, three disgruntled kids stomped off to bed. One child, looking miserable sat on my stairs.
Brandon (whispering): “Mom.”
Me: “Brandon, get to bed.”
Brandon (more urgently): “Mooommm….I have to tell you something….I cut the curtains.” (miserable, hang dog look)
Me (feigning surprise): “Oh you did!” “Go wait for Dad and I in our room. I need to go tuck your brothers and sister in.”
At this point, I reassured Jon and Lauren we had caught the culprit. Noah was beyond consoling because all he heard was “grounded forever from electronics.” Rich and I dealt with our interior decorator, thinking our night was finally coming to end, but as we were preparing to send Brandon off to slumber land so he could dream about new ways to test our parenting skills, there was a knock on the bedroom door.
A persistent knock.
Rich answered the door to find a very determined Noah on the other side: “Mom, Dad,”
he said, holding both up hands in front of him, as if in surrender,
“I just want you to know….
I was nowhere near a pair of scissors tonight.”
Rich and I looked at each other. Rich thanked Noah. Noah looked relieved to have that off his chest. I was stifling laughter and exasperation. Rich shook his head back and forth.
Noah noticed Brandon in our room and quickly comprehended the guilty party had been brought to justice. Finally, we were able to send the two of them off to their beds and everyone was able to stay put for the rest of the night.
I would love to say that Rich and I went downstairs and watched TV, because we weren’t grounded, but shaking down a curtain culprit the first week of school is exhausting.
Soooo…
We tucked ourselves into bed and stayed put the rest of night!
So, in the interest of quality time, I invited Noah to run a few errands. However, we don’t call it quality time in our house, and it’s rarely, if ever, planned. Me: “Noah, wanna run errands with me?” Noah: “Yeah, great, let’s go.” Now, contrary to what I told the other children, I didn’t invite Noah on this trip because I love him the best, I invited him because I needed to check in with him about some things that were going on with him at school and desired to do so without the unfiltered and unasked for opinions of his other siblings.
At this point in the story, it is extremely important to note that Brandon was NOT happy at being excluded from “Noah and Mom quality time.”
Rich and I were about to find out exactly how displeased I had made Brandon.
Noah and I arrived home, and Rich and I jumped on the hamster wheel of bedtime routines. Just as I was about to release my final and favorite sigh of the night, “the-I-can-finally-put-on-my-pajamas-and-relax” sigh, I heard Rich’s curious and none-too-pleased voice ask, “What happened to the curtains?”
Now, my inner mom knew exactly what happened to curtains.
Brandon.
Brandon and his “It’s not fair I was left behind!” wrath happened to the curtains.
I didn’t even have to look to know in a fit of rage and jealousy, that child did something that was going to make me none-too-pleased just like Rich. I sighed. My inner mom sighed. Actually, I think she screamed, “It’s not fair!” and threw a temper-tantrum, but we walked downstairs anyway. I rubbed my hands over my face. I looked at Rich. I rubbed my hands over my face again. I shook my head.
Rich (holding part of cut curtains in his hand): “What happened here?”
Me: (resigned) “Brandon.”
Rich: (incredulous, but not surprised at the answer) “Why would he do something like this?
Me: (matter -of –fact voice): “Because I took Noah to the bank and not him.”
Rich: “What should we do?” Note: When your spouse asks you “What should we do?” It means he doesn’t have plan so you have 30 seconds to come up with something good.
Me (determined): “Get them out of bed. NOW”
Rich (rouses the troops): “Out of bed, NOW!! Your mother wants you in the entryway!! Note: Why isn’t it “WE want you in the entry way?”
Kids (confused, irritated, slightly afraid): “What’s going on? Whatever it is, I
didn’t do it…" and other assorted and appropriate kid phrases when you know your mother is mad, you know you might being going to down for a crime, but you aren’t sure which one you are busted for…
Me (pointing to the curtains): “Who cut the curtains?”
Kids: “NOT ME!!” (frantically looking around at each other to see who is going to crack so this conversation isn’t going to be prolonged, wishing I had discovered this when they were in school or Siberia)
Me (deep, calm breath so I don’t put them all eBay, non-yelling voice): “Okay. I totally get it. No one did it.” Pause. “Well, maybe Milo did it. He has been working hard on using on his mastery of scissors. Hmmm....”
Kids: Trading Suspicious Looks…Still no one confesses
Me (Waiting…No one cracks…. Calm voice):”Here is the deal. Everyone is grounded from all electronics until I find out who cut my curtains. No TV. No DS. No Wii. Nothing. Don’t look at them, Don’t breathe on them, and Don’t dream about them. Grounded. Done.”
Kids: Total silence. Followed by: “ALL OF US!?!” and “That’s no fair!”
Me: “Get back to bed. Good night.”
At that point, three disgruntled kids stomped off to bed. One child, looking miserable sat on my stairs.
Brandon (whispering): “Mom.”
Me: “Brandon, get to bed.”
Brandon (more urgently): “Mooommm….I have to tell you something….I cut the curtains.” (miserable, hang dog look)
Me (feigning surprise): “Oh you did!” “Go wait for Dad and I in our room. I need to go tuck your brothers and sister in.”
At this point, I reassured Jon and Lauren we had caught the culprit. Noah was beyond consoling because all he heard was “grounded forever from electronics.” Rich and I dealt with our interior decorator, thinking our night was finally coming to end, but as we were preparing to send Brandon off to slumber land so he could dream about new ways to test our parenting skills, there was a knock on the bedroom door.
A persistent knock.
Rich answered the door to find a very determined Noah on the other side: “Mom, Dad,”
he said, holding both up hands in front of him, as if in surrender,
“I just want you to know….
I was nowhere near a pair of scissors tonight.”
Rich and I looked at each other. Rich thanked Noah. Noah looked relieved to have that off his chest. I was stifling laughter and exasperation. Rich shook his head back and forth.
Noah noticed Brandon in our room and quickly comprehended the guilty party had been brought to justice. Finally, we were able to send the two of them off to their beds and everyone was able to stay put for the rest of the night.
I would love to say that Rich and I went downstairs and watched TV, because we weren’t grounded, but shaking down a curtain culprit the first week of school is exhausting.
Soooo…
We tucked ourselves into bed and stayed put the rest of night!
Friday, October 8, 2010
Extraordinary Conversations/Ordinary Breakfast
There are times as a parent you think you have a good idea. A better than average idea. In fact, one could even consider a GREAT idea.
Many Sunday's ago I had one of those ideas.
Since all of my children are secretly ingesting some kind of mutant growth hormone behind my back, the need often arises for them to have clothing to replace the ones that no longer fit them.
At the time, Jon and Noah seemed to be focused not only outgrowing, but destroying, their pants and I could not longer put off replacing them (the pants, not the boys).
So.....my great idea was, since Brandon was at a pumpkin drop with his friend, that I would take the remaining three children out for breakfast.
I have learned that growing boys can devour a small dinosaur for breakfast, go to church, and ninety minutes later, be ready to devour a medium size dinosaur.
I even understand reason behind this: After church, their brains are fully engaged which awakens their stomachs. It is my duty to take care of their unsaitable hunger before unleashing them on the unsuspecting public.
Selfishly, and in the interest of full disclosure, I was also hoping the bribe of breakfast at Perkins would make the words, "You ARE going to the store with me to try on your pants before I bring them home." would make the process of pants shopping easier and less painful. For the record, it's amazing how loudly boys can protest in between massive bites of dinosaur, pancakes, and bacon.
We arrive at Perkins, order our food, and wait. During the wait, instead of plugging into video games or looking at each other with dumb looks on our faces, Jon, Noah, Lauren, and I start discussing normal kid things...what happened at church, cartoons, interjections from the boys about how their pants fit them just fine and shopping would be a form of child abuse, and the weather.
The weather conversation progressed to hemispheres, the North and South Poles (and the total chaos on the weather if those those two Poles were opposite and the Earth rotated in a different direction), the Equator, longitude and laditude lines, the Prime Meridan, and the now infamous question,
"Mom, does the International Date Line run parallel to the Equator?" (Answer: No).
It is moments like these that I love being the mom of my children: They prove to me they articulate, well-behaved, and are capable of reasoning out things that do not involve tormenting one another or whether or not SpongeBob Squarepants wears underwear.
On the other hand.....
We are eating breakfast....at Perkins.
I am not sure that all of my brain is awake yet and I'm simultaneously thanking Rich that we paid for an unlimited data plan on our smartphones so I can google "International Date Line" in the middle of breakfast. AND "We didn't have smartphones when I was a kid." AND "I wouldn't have thought about this when I was a kid." AND "How am I going to keep up my end of the conversation with a fifth and sixth grader?" AND "I might not be smarter than a fifth grader!" AND "I still have to take these two mini-geniuses pants shopping."
Fortunately, I was able to keep up with my boys. Lauren was also able to contribute to the conversation. We did indeed discuss the Interational Date Line while eating pancakes and waffles.
We ate breakfast, laughed and talked about other things, but I am still amazed how something so simple turned into such an amazing memory.
Many Sunday's ago I had one of those ideas.
Since all of my children are secretly ingesting some kind of mutant growth hormone behind my back, the need often arises for them to have clothing to replace the ones that no longer fit them.
At the time, Jon and Noah seemed to be focused not only outgrowing, but destroying, their pants and I could not longer put off replacing them (the pants, not the boys).
So.....my great idea was, since Brandon was at a pumpkin drop with his friend, that I would take the remaining three children out for breakfast.
I have learned that growing boys can devour a small dinosaur for breakfast, go to church, and ninety minutes later, be ready to devour a medium size dinosaur.
I even understand reason behind this: After church, their brains are fully engaged which awakens their stomachs. It is my duty to take care of their unsaitable hunger before unleashing them on the unsuspecting public.
Selfishly, and in the interest of full disclosure, I was also hoping the bribe of breakfast at Perkins would make the words, "You ARE going to the store with me to try on your pants before I bring them home." would make the process of pants shopping easier and less painful. For the record, it's amazing how loudly boys can protest in between massive bites of dinosaur, pancakes, and bacon.
We arrive at Perkins, order our food, and wait. During the wait, instead of plugging into video games or looking at each other with dumb looks on our faces, Jon, Noah, Lauren, and I start discussing normal kid things...what happened at church, cartoons, interjections from the boys about how their pants fit them just fine and shopping would be a form of child abuse, and the weather.
The weather conversation progressed to hemispheres, the North and South Poles (and the total chaos on the weather if those those two Poles were opposite and the Earth rotated in a different direction), the Equator, longitude and laditude lines, the Prime Meridan, and the now infamous question,
"Mom, does the International Date Line run parallel to the Equator?" (Answer: No).
It is moments like these that I love being the mom of my children: They prove to me they articulate, well-behaved, and are capable of reasoning out things that do not involve tormenting one another or whether or not SpongeBob Squarepants wears underwear.
On the other hand.....
We are eating breakfast....at Perkins.
I am not sure that all of my brain is awake yet and I'm simultaneously thanking Rich that we paid for an unlimited data plan on our smartphones so I can google "International Date Line" in the middle of breakfast. AND "We didn't have smartphones when I was a kid." AND "I wouldn't have thought about this when I was a kid." AND "How am I going to keep up my end of the conversation with a fifth and sixth grader?" AND "I might not be smarter than a fifth grader!" AND "I still have to take these two mini-geniuses pants shopping."
Fortunately, I was able to keep up with my boys. Lauren was also able to contribute to the conversation. We did indeed discuss the Interational Date Line while eating pancakes and waffles.
We ate breakfast, laughed and talked about other things, but I am still amazed how something so simple turned into such an amazing memory.
Monday, August 3, 2009
The South Dakota Saga - (Day 3- Monday)
As I woke up Monday morning, the third day of traveling, I mentioned to Rich that it would be nice to find a good cup of coffee. We had a coffee maker in the room, but since I can only have coffee a few (like two or three) times a month, when I decide to drink coffee, I want what I want. In this case, it was not a cup of Torke hotel coffee that had been sitting for a very long time which I craved. For you video gamers in the reading audience, little did I know I had just embarked on what was to become a side quest in the over all mission called our “vacation.”
Rich and I forced the children to wake up, dress themselves, and eat breakfast. No major breakfast hassles outside of normal family/kid stuff, which means that there were probably twenty of them and I am so numb I find them unblog-worthy. The van was then unlocked, aired out, children strapped in, electronic devices turned on, and the GPS set for destination: Jewel Cave.
On the way to Jewel Cave, we did not pass a single coffee shop, not even a Starbucks. If I was so inclined, I could have started smoking, as there were plenty of smoke shops, but alas, no smoke shops that served coffee. Irked, but unconcerned about the coffee, I settled in to enjoy the incredible mountains and ponderosa pines that South Dakota had to offer.
Rich and I were commenting on the scenery and enjoying the overall view. At one point, we asked the kids to really take a look around them and appreciate the scenery. SEE the scenery. The boys response: “Ooo..more trees, more rocks, more grass!” in perfect three part harmony. Imagine being in a mini van with surround sound sarcasm. Clearly, the kids were in South Dakota for different reasons than Rich and I; scenery was not one of them.
We had reserved our tour for Jewel Cave a week in advance because their tours sellout so fast. The kids thought Rich and I were horribly mean for making them pack long sleeves and pants to take the tour (which is recommended on the website as the average temperature in the cave is a brisk 46 degrees Fahrenheit at all times and located 70 feet below ground). Thankfully, upon arrival they witnessed other mean parents whose children were dressed in a similar fashion. Before leaving, I had been tipped off about something called the Junior Ranger Program. Basically, the kids can ask for a worksheet, look at the exhibits, signage around them, glean tidbits from the tour, fill in the worksheet, and then turn it for a Junior Ranger Badge.*
All four kids completed the sheet and earned their badge. Rich and I helped Brandon with the reading and spelling parts. Rich helped Lauren with all of her sheet, but by the end of our tour she understood why she was touring Jewel Cave, all 723 steps of it. To hear her and Brandon tell it now, they walked each one of those steps; the reality is not quite as glamorous. (By the end of the trip, Rich and I had lost five pounds from all the walking and our biceps looked great from taking turns carrying those two kids.)
After a late lunch and a trip to a candy store, we headed back the hotel for a night of swimming and Papa John’s pizza. Since Papa John’s went out of business in Stevens Point and our hotel pool had a water slide and our backyard does not, this was a huge deal. It was also a great deal of fun. By the end of swimming pool time, Lauren and I were water slide professionals. Brandon made Rich climb the steps to the pool four times but never went down the slide. Jonathon and Noah were going down the slide head first, in chains and making trains. They were even trying to talk Brandon and Lauren into some crazy stunts that were quickly vetoed by me due to concerns of safeness and legality.
When the pool started getting crazy busy at 8:30pm, it was the perfect time for us to head back to the room and begin what we thought was bath/shower time for our chlorinated kids, but was really the beginning of the insidious TV marathon called The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. Apparently, the kids had some crazy idea they were on vacation too and they should be able to unwind by watching the Disney X channel. For the Disney Channel X uneducated, I think X stands for even more eXtreme crap playing eXtremely more often. As to the aforementioned show, you are not missing anything; I promise. I endured four days of watching it, so trust me on this one. (I had watched it before, but in very small, small doses, occasionally glancing up from the book I was reading.)
We then played a rousing game of “Who is Sleeping Where Tonight?” No one was voted out of the hotel room, so we closed our eyes and drifted to sleep in anticipation of our next trip to Mount Rushmore.
* Yes, I confess! My husband and I took our kids to South Dakota this summer and made them learn stuff! We forced them to really look and read the exhibits! We made them *hold onto your monitors* do critical thinking activities *gasp*! They are now more informed and more educated then before they left Wisconsin. You caught me red handed!
Rich and I forced the children to wake up, dress themselves, and eat breakfast. No major breakfast hassles outside of normal family/kid stuff, which means that there were probably twenty of them and I am so numb I find them unblog-worthy. The van was then unlocked, aired out, children strapped in, electronic devices turned on, and the GPS set for destination: Jewel Cave.
On the way to Jewel Cave, we did not pass a single coffee shop, not even a Starbucks. If I was so inclined, I could have started smoking, as there were plenty of smoke shops, but alas, no smoke shops that served coffee. Irked, but unconcerned about the coffee, I settled in to enjoy the incredible mountains and ponderosa pines that South Dakota had to offer.
Rich and I were commenting on the scenery and enjoying the overall view. At one point, we asked the kids to really take a look around them and appreciate the scenery. SEE the scenery. The boys response: “Ooo..more trees, more rocks, more grass!” in perfect three part harmony. Imagine being in a mini van with surround sound sarcasm. Clearly, the kids were in South Dakota for different reasons than Rich and I; scenery was not one of them.
We had reserved our tour for Jewel Cave a week in advance because their tours sellout so fast. The kids thought Rich and I were horribly mean for making them pack long sleeves and pants to take the tour (which is recommended on the website as the average temperature in the cave is a brisk 46 degrees Fahrenheit at all times and located 70 feet below ground). Thankfully, upon arrival they witnessed other mean parents whose children were dressed in a similar fashion. Before leaving, I had been tipped off about something called the Junior Ranger Program. Basically, the kids can ask for a worksheet, look at the exhibits, signage around them, glean tidbits from the tour, fill in the worksheet, and then turn it for a Junior Ranger Badge.*
All four kids completed the sheet and earned their badge. Rich and I helped Brandon with the reading and spelling parts. Rich helped Lauren with all of her sheet, but by the end of our tour she understood why she was touring Jewel Cave, all 723 steps of it. To hear her and Brandon tell it now, they walked each one of those steps; the reality is not quite as glamorous. (By the end of the trip, Rich and I had lost five pounds from all the walking and our biceps looked great from taking turns carrying those two kids.)
After a late lunch and a trip to a candy store, we headed back the hotel for a night of swimming and Papa John’s pizza. Since Papa John’s went out of business in Stevens Point and our hotel pool had a water slide and our backyard does not, this was a huge deal. It was also a great deal of fun. By the end of swimming pool time, Lauren and I were water slide professionals. Brandon made Rich climb the steps to the pool four times but never went down the slide. Jonathon and Noah were going down the slide head first, in chains and making trains. They were even trying to talk Brandon and Lauren into some crazy stunts that were quickly vetoed by me due to concerns of safeness and legality.
When the pool started getting crazy busy at 8:30pm, it was the perfect time for us to head back to the room and begin what we thought was bath/shower time for our chlorinated kids, but was really the beginning of the insidious TV marathon called The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. Apparently, the kids had some crazy idea they were on vacation too and they should be able to unwind by watching the Disney X channel. For the Disney Channel X uneducated, I think X stands for even more eXtreme crap playing eXtremely more often. As to the aforementioned show, you are not missing anything; I promise. I endured four days of watching it, so trust me on this one. (I had watched it before, but in very small, small doses, occasionally glancing up from the book I was reading.)
We then played a rousing game of “Who is Sleeping Where Tonight?” No one was voted out of the hotel room, so we closed our eyes and drifted to sleep in anticipation of our next trip to Mount Rushmore.
* Yes, I confess! My husband and I took our kids to South Dakota this summer and made them learn stuff! We forced them to really look and read the exhibits! We made them *hold onto your monitors* do critical thinking activities *gasp*! They are now more informed and more educated then before they left Wisconsin. You caught me red handed!
The South Dakota Saga (Day 2 - Sunday)
Sunday morning Rich and I were mostly awake because we had no choice. Everyone was dressed, the minivan was packed for the five hour trip to Rapid City, and all of us were HUNGRY for breakfast. Upon scoping out the breakfast situation at the Econolodge, the most accurate description I can think of is 40 cranky travelers and their kids, one waffle maker, six four-seater tables, and Torke coffee, all in an area the size of two smallish mini vans. Now, I am usually one that does not pass up a free breakfast, however, there is a point where I believe I invite my own pain (as this continued blogging of this trip will prove). As we were standing in line, I looked Rich. Rich looked at me. Our eyes met. I mouthed the word, “Perkins.” Rich nodded and sighed in relief. We quickly herded children, making sure we only herded the ones that belonged to us, and headed out the door.
After an uneventful trip to Perkins and Wal-mart, our clan was on the way to the Corn Palace. Anticipation was high. The temperature was higher. Tempers were even higher, but once we settled our bottoms into our seats, the intricate dance for which electronic device needed to be charged in the one working lighter plug-in began in earnest and kept the clan quite occupied. We arrived in Mitchell with a minimum of piddle emergencies* and trauma. The family watched the twelve minute video about the history of the Corn Palace. (Please note: Brandon did so under extreme duress, which caused me extreme stress.) Three of the children had their picture taken with the cheesy plastic corn on the cob in front of the Corn Palace; Brandon refused (little did I know that would be another reoccurring theme throughout the trip. Please reference the family photograph in front of Mount Rushmore).
Since no one in our group was overly impressed by the CP, it was time to lock and load the mini van and head off to the Badlands National Park. It was so cool to watch the kids scamper and jump all over the Badland formations. Rich was convinced that Lauren was going to tumble over and down, down into one of the seemingly bottomless canyons of which she kept peering over the edge. The boys, upon seeing the “Beware of Rattlesnakes” sign, admittedly lost some of their bravo and the Badlands lost some of their mystique and coolness. Rich and I wanted to climb Harney Peak, the top from which you can see five states, but our kids were definitely not up to the 3.2 one way climb over unkind terrain, so that idea was quickly shelved as Rich and I were not up to carrying four kids over unkind terrain. We made a few more scenic stops in the Badlands and then proceeded to Wall Drug for our free water.
Wall Drug, in short, is another word for a tourist zoo. Ugh. Been there, done that, took some cheesy tourist pictures and was so very happy to leave. The best word to described Rich’s feeling of Wall Drug: appalled.
Once again, the adventure became interesting when hit our “homebase” located in Rapid City. We checked into the AmericInn and went to forage for supper. Rich and I, with the blessing of the children, decided that the T.G.I.Friday’s seemed like our best bet on a Sunday night. Here is a word of advice to future travelers: When the waitress tells you there has been a fire in the kitchen, just leave. No matter how hungry the kids are or how much the waitress reassures you everything is fine, just leave. Rich and I knew better then to stay as there were all kinds of invisible restaurant “red flags” that we chose to ignore. Noah summed up the experience best when he said, “Promise not to take us back there the entire time we are in South Dakota! That was not worth it!”
Rich and I agreed with Noah! It was then back to the AmericInn to set up our homebase for the next four days and try to get some shuteye. Everyone was quite tired, so everyone slept. In fact, some people snored, but it wasn’t the grown ups!
*piddle emergency: One of the kids screaming quite forcibly and at top volume, any of the following phrases: "I have to go the bathroom!" "I am going to wet it!" I have to go piddle right now!" The following phrases may be used as a follow up: "I am not going to make it!" "I reeaalllyyy have to go super badly!" These phrases should only be used after a gas station with a bathroom or a rest area have been passed on the interstate.
After an uneventful trip to Perkins and Wal-mart, our clan was on the way to the Corn Palace. Anticipation was high. The temperature was higher. Tempers were even higher, but once we settled our bottoms into our seats, the intricate dance for which electronic device needed to be charged in the one working lighter plug-in began in earnest and kept the clan quite occupied. We arrived in Mitchell with a minimum of piddle emergencies* and trauma. The family watched the twelve minute video about the history of the Corn Palace. (Please note: Brandon did so under extreme duress, which caused me extreme stress.) Three of the children had their picture taken with the cheesy plastic corn on the cob in front of the Corn Palace; Brandon refused (little did I know that would be another reoccurring theme throughout the trip. Please reference the family photograph in front of Mount Rushmore).
Since no one in our group was overly impressed by the CP, it was time to lock and load the mini van and head off to the Badlands National Park. It was so cool to watch the kids scamper and jump all over the Badland formations. Rich was convinced that Lauren was going to tumble over and down, down into one of the seemingly bottomless canyons of which she kept peering over the edge. The boys, upon seeing the “Beware of Rattlesnakes” sign, admittedly lost some of their bravo and the Badlands lost some of their mystique and coolness. Rich and I wanted to climb Harney Peak, the top from which you can see five states, but our kids were definitely not up to the 3.2 one way climb over unkind terrain, so that idea was quickly shelved as Rich and I were not up to carrying four kids over unkind terrain. We made a few more scenic stops in the Badlands and then proceeded to Wall Drug for our free water.
Wall Drug, in short, is another word for a tourist zoo. Ugh. Been there, done that, took some cheesy tourist pictures and was so very happy to leave. The best word to described Rich’s feeling of Wall Drug: appalled.
Once again, the adventure became interesting when hit our “homebase” located in Rapid City. We checked into the AmericInn and went to forage for supper. Rich and I, with the blessing of the children, decided that the T.G.I.Friday’s seemed like our best bet on a Sunday night. Here is a word of advice to future travelers: When the waitress tells you there has been a fire in the kitchen, just leave. No matter how hungry the kids are or how much the waitress reassures you everything is fine, just leave. Rich and I knew better then to stay as there were all kinds of invisible restaurant “red flags” that we chose to ignore. Noah summed up the experience best when he said, “Promise not to take us back there the entire time we are in South Dakota! That was not worth it!”
Rich and I agreed with Noah! It was then back to the AmericInn to set up our homebase for the next four days and try to get some shuteye. Everyone was quite tired, so everyone slept. In fact, some people snored, but it wasn’t the grown ups!
*piddle emergency: One of the kids screaming quite forcibly and at top volume, any of the following phrases: "I have to go the bathroom!" "I am going to wet it!" I have to go piddle right now!" The following phrases may be used as a follow up: "I am not going to make it!" "I reeaalllyyy have to go super badly!" These phrases should only be used after a gas station with a bathroom or a rest area have been passed on the interstate.
Sunday, August 2, 2009
The Saga of South Dakota (Day 1 - Saturday)
As a parent, there are times you know certain moments will set the tone for an entire experience. As I was waiting for our late night supper at Arby’s in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, I knew that that the following exchange between Jonathon, Noah, and I was going be one of those defining moments.
To give you a little (or perhaps too much) background, Rich has always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. It has been one of his dreams for as long as I have known him, so in interest of pursuing his dream (and in spite of Jon’s: “Why do we have to pursue Dad’s dream” continued four month diatribe) we packed up and headed out west to South Dakota.
We arrived in Sioux Falls, tired, cranky, and hungry, around 8:00pm to a busy, but not fabulous Econolodge. Rich and I decided the best strategy would be to divide and conquer; he would check us into the hotel and I would scarce up some food at Arby’s. We also divided children in a 3:1 ratio; he had Brandon and I had Jonathon, Noah and Lauren.
The kids and I are waiting for our food in Arby’s when rather suddenly, Noah looks at Jonathon and rather indignantly says: “Jonathon, you are not dying of the world's deadliest rash! You are NOT going to die before we get back to Wisconsin! Mom wouldn’t have even taken you on this trip if you were that sick!” Now, I am usually on top of deadly rashes as they pertain to my children, even contagious rashes for that matter, but I was admittedly clueless on this one. Jon, Noah, and I looked down at the “rash” in question. It looked like a well scratched, peeling sunburn…which was impossible because Jon lives in soccer gear had not recently been sunburned. My best guess at the time: Jon had some funkiness above his ankle leftover from wearing soccer pads and socks for half the year and never told me about it. It did not appear life threatening; truth be told the “deadly rash” in question looked like something a little Gold bond could take care of quite effectively.
I sighed. I closed my eyes and sighed again and prayed for patience or a quick lightening bolt to the forehead to end my misery and parenting woes. My headache worsened and I was still alive, so apparently, the prayer for patience was answered and I had to deal with the issue of the rash, or more accurately, the stunt Jon just pulled on Noah. “Really? REALLY?” I asked Jonathon, in exasperation, and trying not to let any laughter into my voice because sometimes the stuff these kids pull on each other does catch me off guard. Jon’s defense, “What? It’s funny! And it’s Noah. And he figured it out.”
I wish I could tell you I had some epiphany of a mom moment and turned it into something teachable for the kids. Nope. The three of us stood there laughing. Lauren looked at me and said, “ I don’t get it, my brothers are being kind of dumb. Is our food ready yet?” I did more shaking of my head and some more sighing, and told Jon not to pull it on Brandon. (“Mom, Brandon would just tell me to hurry up and die. I am not pulling it on him.”) However, I knew then and there this trip was going to be one for the books.
That night at the hotel provided less opportunity to relax or rest. Apparently, six of sleeping on top of each other was not quite enough entertainment for the night, so during lights out, Brandon took the mini flashlight he was using as a night light and shined it upon the ceiling. He then proceeded to place his hand over the beam, treating the other five of us to the image of his oversized shadow hand on the ceiling. Subsequently, gruesome sound effects for the shadow hand soon followed from the voices of the ten and under crowd, but no worries, the clichéd, necessary, and appropriate Stars Wars quotes were also included at no extra charge.
Thank goodness my head was already on a pillow. I could then 1) use it to muffle my screams and 2) not actively search out a brick wall to bang my head against when the other three children started begging for a turn with the flashlight to create their own shadow creations. The shadow hand was severed and I did a mystical sleep/dance while attempting to share a queen size bed with Brandon and Lauren. Really, I just wished for morning between unfitfull bursts of napping, but I like the previous description as it sounds less painful and implies that I might have caught some zzzz's.
To give you a little (or perhaps too much) background, Rich has always wanted to see Mount Rushmore. It has been one of his dreams for as long as I have known him, so in interest of pursuing his dream (and in spite of Jon’s: “Why do we have to pursue Dad’s dream” continued four month diatribe) we packed up and headed out west to South Dakota.
We arrived in Sioux Falls, tired, cranky, and hungry, around 8:00pm to a busy, but not fabulous Econolodge. Rich and I decided the best strategy would be to divide and conquer; he would check us into the hotel and I would scarce up some food at Arby’s. We also divided children in a 3:1 ratio; he had Brandon and I had Jonathon, Noah and Lauren.
The kids and I are waiting for our food in Arby’s when rather suddenly, Noah looks at Jonathon and rather indignantly says: “Jonathon, you are not dying of the world's deadliest rash! You are NOT going to die before we get back to Wisconsin! Mom wouldn’t have even taken you on this trip if you were that sick!” Now, I am usually on top of deadly rashes as they pertain to my children, even contagious rashes for that matter, but I was admittedly clueless on this one. Jon, Noah, and I looked down at the “rash” in question. It looked like a well scratched, peeling sunburn…which was impossible because Jon lives in soccer gear had not recently been sunburned. My best guess at the time: Jon had some funkiness above his ankle leftover from wearing soccer pads and socks for half the year and never told me about it. It did not appear life threatening; truth be told the “deadly rash” in question looked like something a little Gold bond could take care of quite effectively.
I sighed. I closed my eyes and sighed again and prayed for patience or a quick lightening bolt to the forehead to end my misery and parenting woes. My headache worsened and I was still alive, so apparently, the prayer for patience was answered and I had to deal with the issue of the rash, or more accurately, the stunt Jon just pulled on Noah. “Really? REALLY?” I asked Jonathon, in exasperation, and trying not to let any laughter into my voice because sometimes the stuff these kids pull on each other does catch me off guard. Jon’s defense, “What? It’s funny! And it’s Noah. And he figured it out.”
I wish I could tell you I had some epiphany of a mom moment and turned it into something teachable for the kids. Nope. The three of us stood there laughing. Lauren looked at me and said, “ I don’t get it, my brothers are being kind of dumb. Is our food ready yet?” I did more shaking of my head and some more sighing, and told Jon not to pull it on Brandon. (“Mom, Brandon would just tell me to hurry up and die. I am not pulling it on him.”) However, I knew then and there this trip was going to be one for the books.
That night at the hotel provided less opportunity to relax or rest. Apparently, six of sleeping on top of each other was not quite enough entertainment for the night, so during lights out, Brandon took the mini flashlight he was using as a night light and shined it upon the ceiling. He then proceeded to place his hand over the beam, treating the other five of us to the image of his oversized shadow hand on the ceiling. Subsequently, gruesome sound effects for the shadow hand soon followed from the voices of the ten and under crowd, but no worries, the clichéd, necessary, and appropriate Stars Wars quotes were also included at no extra charge.
Thank goodness my head was already on a pillow. I could then 1) use it to muffle my screams and 2) not actively search out a brick wall to bang my head against when the other three children started begging for a turn with the flashlight to create their own shadow creations. The shadow hand was severed and I did a mystical sleep/dance while attempting to share a queen size bed with Brandon and Lauren. Really, I just wished for morning between unfitfull bursts of napping, but I like the previous description as it sounds less painful and implies that I might have caught some zzzz's.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Brandon's Buffet
This afternoon, the children, the boys especially, having made it through the morning without being placed up for adoption (and let me tell you, between the hours of 10:00 am and 1:00pm, I was investigating the legality of that option), decided to open a restaurant downstairs. It was the most amazing synergy I have seen from the boys in a long time. Brandon was the manager. Jon and Noah were the employees.
The bar was set nicely with paper plates and napkins. The area was completely (and to my utter amazement) cleared of accumulated toys and clutter. It was even..washed off..miracle of miracles. I took my place at the bar to be served; there was no consensus as to what number customer I actually was ever reached, as they were unsure whether or not to count themselves as customers. I was rapidly served a 7up and a Nutrigrain bar.
After I completed my meal, I participated in a "promotion" that was going on at the restaurant: I had to try to throw mini stuffed animals through a basketball hoop that Jonathon was moving up and down and around. The explanation offered to me for this event: The management is constantly working on things to keep their place entertaining and fun because they do not want their customers to be bored. They are working towards becoming a sports bar, but since they are not allowed to have the TV on in the afternoons, options are currently limited and they are focusing on promotions.
Once I was done with my promotion, which, I failed miserably at, by the way, I went upstairs. I was soon followed by Noah, who informed me that he had been fired by Brandon. Brandon was quickly up the stairs too, explaining to his brother, "I am not going to pay someone to lay around and sit on the couch all day. Jon's working, so Jon gets paid. That's final."
Noah wasn't keen on being unemployed and left out of the family business, so I convinced Brandon to hire him back as a bathroom cleaner; after all, who wants to go out to eat at a place with skeevy bathrooms? So, Noah, cleaning supplies in hand, was gainfully employed again, Brandon was happy, and my downstairs bathroom was clean.
One of the most interesting parts of this story is trying to explain how Brandon managed everything, including his brothers; firing Noah was just one example. When Jonathon became disgruntled with his "lowly" position, Brandon said, "I'll tell you what Jonathon, you can earn higher levels, all the way up to 10. You are level one right now. You can earn level 2 by not bothering Noah for twenty minutes. I will go upstairs and set the timer right now." AND Jon agreed. And was proud of himself for accomplishing level two. Jon also reached level 3 when he did not bother Lauren for twenty minutes, although this happened later in the running of the business.
There was also the constructing and the making of the sign and menu, which Brandon also oversaw, and took intense concentration and cooperation by all three boys. Both the sign and menu welcome everyone to "Brandon's Buffet" as they walk into the downstairs family room. After the sign making, Lauren and a friend were brought into the family business. Sadly, the friend had to go home, but after she left an area was set up behind my couch for "employees only." This is where the owners brainstorm on ideas on how to grow their business, keep customers, run their business more efficiently, and what kind of food to offer. Again, Brandon is what is known as "the lead" in the industry during these meetings.
After two hours of running a business, Brandon found out even an owner/manager needs sustenance to maintain his energy and came upstairs in search of the ever popular PB&J. He asked me to make it for him as he was hustling two ice teas downstairs to his employee meeting. When I asked him why I had to do it now that he owned his own restaurant, this was his response: "I am very busy now. Besides, you spread the jelly faster and you just make them better."
Brandon even managed to melt me enough to make him a PB&J.
The bar was set nicely with paper plates and napkins. The area was completely (and to my utter amazement) cleared of accumulated toys and clutter. It was even..washed off..miracle of miracles. I took my place at the bar to be served; there was no consensus as to what number customer I actually was ever reached, as they were unsure whether or not to count themselves as customers. I was rapidly served a 7up and a Nutrigrain bar.
After I completed my meal, I participated in a "promotion" that was going on at the restaurant: I had to try to throw mini stuffed animals through a basketball hoop that Jonathon was moving up and down and around. The explanation offered to me for this event: The management is constantly working on things to keep their place entertaining and fun because they do not want their customers to be bored. They are working towards becoming a sports bar, but since they are not allowed to have the TV on in the afternoons, options are currently limited and they are focusing on promotions.
Once I was done with my promotion, which, I failed miserably at, by the way, I went upstairs. I was soon followed by Noah, who informed me that he had been fired by Brandon. Brandon was quickly up the stairs too, explaining to his brother, "I am not going to pay someone to lay around and sit on the couch all day. Jon's working, so Jon gets paid. That's final."
Noah wasn't keen on being unemployed and left out of the family business, so I convinced Brandon to hire him back as a bathroom cleaner; after all, who wants to go out to eat at a place with skeevy bathrooms? So, Noah, cleaning supplies in hand, was gainfully employed again, Brandon was happy, and my downstairs bathroom was clean.
One of the most interesting parts of this story is trying to explain how Brandon managed everything, including his brothers; firing Noah was just one example. When Jonathon became disgruntled with his "lowly" position, Brandon said, "I'll tell you what Jonathon, you can earn higher levels, all the way up to 10. You are level one right now. You can earn level 2 by not bothering Noah for twenty minutes. I will go upstairs and set the timer right now." AND Jon agreed. And was proud of himself for accomplishing level two. Jon also reached level 3 when he did not bother Lauren for twenty minutes, although this happened later in the running of the business.
There was also the constructing and the making of the sign and menu, which Brandon also oversaw, and took intense concentration and cooperation by all three boys. Both the sign and menu welcome everyone to "Brandon's Buffet" as they walk into the downstairs family room. After the sign making, Lauren and a friend were brought into the family business. Sadly, the friend had to go home, but after she left an area was set up behind my couch for "employees only." This is where the owners brainstorm on ideas on how to grow their business, keep customers, run their business more efficiently, and what kind of food to offer. Again, Brandon is what is known as "the lead" in the industry during these meetings.
After two hours of running a business, Brandon found out even an owner/manager needs sustenance to maintain his energy and came upstairs in search of the ever popular PB&J. He asked me to make it for him as he was hustling two ice teas downstairs to his employee meeting. When I asked him why I had to do it now that he owned his own restaurant, this was his response: "I am very busy now. Besides, you spread the jelly faster and you just make them better."
Brandon even managed to melt me enough to make him a PB&J.
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