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Thursday, November 8, 2007

What Matters (Dedicated to Bonnie and Brigetta)

My friend and I were discussing the blog yesterday and after she sighed, "It must be nice to be that creative all the time. I would have been the mom yelling, "Put on your darn jacket because I am the mom!"

That's when I thought I better do some damage control and reassure everyone that OH YES...I can very much be that mom too. Shockingly, my life is not all being more evil than Darth Vader and my daughter showing off her underwear in gas stations. Believe me, I can drop my kids off at school still wearing my pajamas, with my unbrushed teeth, unwashed face, and uncombed hair, yelling at my (jacketless) kids with the best of the other parents. I can so be that person.

I never think to write about about the: "Check your backpack, brush your teeth, put on your socks and shoes, put your clothes down the laundry chute, take a shower, get ready for bed, stop fighting, DO NOT pick on each other, NO you cannot have soda, NO you cannot beat up your brother, NO he ABSOLUTELY does NOT deserve it, PLEASE get your shoes where they belong, I DON'T CARE WHAT HE DID YOU ARE NOT BEATING HIM UP,no you cannot have a snack five minutes before supper, Why is the jacket on the floor now?, Get in your room I told you not to beat up your brother!!" because I think it is not as entertaining to read what most parents battle most days of the week.

And it is a vicious, vicious, cycle that never ends, just a variation on the same theme, so I tend to write about the funnier moments and glimpses into our lives in order to give all of us moments of relief from this insane roller coaster ride named Parenthood. But I am not this uber creative mom with all the answers. Like most of my friends and fellow parenthood inmates, I am doing the best I can, one day at a time by placing one foot in front of the other and going forward.

Some days I pray to God for strength, wisdom and guidance so that Rich and I can raise our children to become happy and productive members of society. I pray that we have a strong, faith filled, and generous family. Other days, I pray everyone lives long enough to make into their beds without any more tears on their part or mine.

And like everyone else strapped into the ride with only a safety belt and only a scant few warning signs along the way, sometimes the best we can do for the day is put one foot in front of the other and solider forward. Our kids are going to eat McDonald's for supper. Or scrambled eggs and bacon. Or roast beef with all the trimmings. Some days, we have time to play board games with our kids, enjoying the laughter and savoring every moment. Other days our kids look like blurry people that we think we use to spend quality time with (and how did the neighbor kids manage to sneak over to play?). Some days we have time to kiss the boo-boo, apply the cream and Band-aid, and cuddle our kids for a little while until the hurt has eased. Other days we tell 'em to suck it up, rub some dirt in it, and go play.

And guess what? As parents we do not get it right every time. There are days we should have made the roast beef. We strain the budget because we order McDonalds. We rub dirt in and we should have put on the cream & Band-aid. We should have played the board game and listened to what was happening at school. We said, "Hey, you want to go without a jacket and freeze your behind off and be cold, those are your natural consequences." And then worried all day.

The important thing to remember is this:

It doesn't matter if you want to argue Star Wars metaphors with your kids or if you want to tell them to "put on the darn jacket."

What matters is that you love your kids enough to know that is cold and they need to wear their jacket to school this morning. And they went to school wearing their jacket because you love them enough to make them without abusing them to do it.

It matters that you love your child enough to know that you you might not have this parenting thing mastered, but you love them enough to do it to the best of your capabilities.

At the end of these long, sleep deprived days of parenthood that is what matters.

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Annakin's Mother and Other Feats of Super Hero Strength

I have lost another six weeks of life to (mis)adventures, cajoling, and general craziness. While I can assure you I have definitely NOT been sleeping through said time, I have not had many blocks of time to sit down in order to update the blog. So while the pie is baking in the oven for the church function we are attending in a few hours, the kids are being reasonably peaceful, and the Packers are on the TV, I will forgo some sleep and finally catch everyone up on some of the more major events of the past six weeks.

Well, Noah dodged the marriage bullet. Sadly, following that episode he became addicted to chewable Tylenol. The addiction was most likely a result of his attempts to dull the pain his legs incurred from running away from his overzealous, determined, future bride and her future bridemaids on the playground, as well as headaches induced by thinking up escape plans. We did manage to avoid an expensive rehad stint; Rich and I made him quit cold turkey.

In other Noah drama, he was Darth Vader for Halloween and dressed as such for his party at school. The day of the party though, the weather was quite chilly as Wisconsin mornings in October tend to be, but the child absolutely refused to wear his winter jacket. The following is the actual, honest goodness conversation Noah and I had before he left for school that morning:

Me: "Noah you need to wear your jacket. It's very cold outside."
Noah (full costume, best seven year James Earl Jones voice): "Darth Vader doesn't wear a jacket."

Me: "Darth's Vader's mom told him to wear a jacket. Now."

Noah: "Darth Vader doesn't have a mom. Darth Vader is evil. Darth Vader doesn't wear a jacket.

So at this point, I am dying of laughter on the inside. Noah is saying this in his best James Earl Jones voice, full height, full costume, marching around the house, humming the Imperial Death March at full volume, determined not to wear his jacket to school. Rich, Jonathon, and Brandon are not attempting to hide their laughter. Jonathon is actually laughing and warning Noah that he is probably going to ended up grounded. And part of me is like, okay kid, you wanna throw down, you really wanna challenge me and start my Wednesday, coffeeless morning like this, I am going to beat you at your own game. Let's go. Game on. Here's part two of the conversation:

Me (yelling as Noah is walking out the door, thinking he is victorious and the Dark Side has triumphed): "Hey, Noah, Darth Vader actually started out as Annakin, so he did have a mom, so you're wearing your jacket to school today!"

Jonathon and Noah (chiming in, together, excited): "Guess, what!! Annakin's mom was kidnapped, tortured, and killed, so no jacket!"

Me(smug): "But not when he was Seven years old!! Annakin's mom was still alive when he was seven years old and he wasn't even sold yet, so, Noah has to wear his jacket to school because He is actually PRE-DARTH VADER!!"

All of sudden, Noah's little Darth Vader shoulders, cape and all, slump in defeat, and the voice behind the mask says, miserably, still in character: "Darth Vader has been defeated. Darth Vader will wear his jacket to school." And me, being the model of maturity that I am, replied, "Remember Darth Vader, the Force always wins."

And just to make my non-caffienated morning more special, in a motion of support to his brother, I hear Jonathon tell Noah on the way to the mini van, thinking he is out of ear shot of me: "Remember Noah, our Mom is more evil than Darth Vader."

Just because Jonathon is right doesn't mean I need the positive reinforcement.

Another feat of super human strength we accomplished as a family is we have started attending church. I am so proud of this feat. We attend Redeemer Lutheran Church and it is an amazing experience. The kid enjoy going to Sunday School. While they do that, Rich and I attend a parenting group. Afterwards, sometimes Rich leaves for work, Lauren and Brandon go to Nursery, and Jon, Noah, and I go to worship. Tonight we are going to the new member dinner. Next week, on his ninth birthday, Jonathon will receive his first Bible during church service. What an amazing milestone for my son! And, for the first time ever, all four kids will be in the Christmas Pageant. (Can you say "The Greatest Christmas Pageant Ever?") But I wanted to start attending church as a family, so I circled the Sunday after Labor Day on the calendar and just did it. Two months later, here we are, involved members of an incredible church community and a stronger family because of it.

Jonathon is rostered on a traveling soccer team for spring. He is reading and writing at grade level. All the hard work Rich and I did last year has more than paid dividends this year. Brandon is now five going on forty. He has left that toddler stage and has entered that helpful little boy stage. It happened so suddenly that I don't always trust it and don't always know what to do with it. So I find chores for him to do. He, more than all the kids, loves to go to church and helping Pastor Kurt. Oh my goodness, do they Love Brandon at church. And Ms. Lauren finally quit showing her underwear (Big Sigh of Relief!!) to the general public. She is also growing like a bad weed. She likes making me call all my friends so we can go out to lunch or go to their houses when her brothers are school, so she can be extra spoiled. "Lauren, would you like a Popsicle? Lauren, would you the princess cup? Lauren, do you want go for a special ride with Mommy and I? Of course you can have gum Lauren, I keep it here for you." It's good to be a Princess.

Speaking of super hero feats, Brett Farve just set (Another) record, this one being one of three quarterbacks to defeat all the other 31 teams in NFL, and my Packers are 7-1. Given the level of sheer exhaustion I am operating on today, we still have the church dinner which attend, and third grade homework to complete, this seems a perfectly arbitrary factoid on which to end this update.

Otherwise, know that the kids are operating on perfectly normal levels of chaos, Rich is opening a new store in West Bend, WI, on November 20, 2007, and I am a stay at home mom that never manages to get her the cleanliness of her home under control.
In other words, nothing has changed, and I will have more horror stories with which to entertain you.
 
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