The Perfect Mom

I often wonder which elements my children's "perfect mother" would consist of. Would she keep her house perfectly clean, always be there to have the perfect homework answer, give just the right answer to the most challenging of questions, prepare home cooked meals of only the nutritious, well-balanced variety, but make sure to throw in a good fast food meal once in a while so her children do not feel deprived? Also, would she create in her children a good work ethic without them realizing that she was doing it, without them giving her nary an arguement, balancing their material wants with their emotional needs so they all turn out to be emotionally well adjusted adults?

Oh wait, that's my fantasy mother, not my children's. My kids fantasy mother would consist of someone who lets them eat donuts for every meal, wash it down with soda, buys them iPods, an Xbox 360, complete with Halo (unless you are Lauren then you are holding out for Polly Pocket stuff), gives them unlimited screen time on school nights, and a mom that does not, under any circumstance, "waste your good time at church (Jonathon Tolbert)."

In my desperate momements of mommmy insanity, when it feels like I am the only one on the mommy crazy train of over scheduled lives that have too many kids that need to go too many places, I want to grab one of those precious children, force them to look me in the eye, and tell them, "Do you understand that I am doing this for you? I don't need to sit at T-ball/soccer/dance/school to be a better person. I am doing this because I love you and this is important to you!" However, I refrain; it is pointless for two of us be close to a breakdown.

In my darkest moments of mommy wallowing, I wonder to myself, okay, and sometimes to Rich, "Does this even make a difference? Will these kids appreciate it? Do they care about all the schedule arranging, all the things Rich and I give up and rearrange for them? Will they turn out to be decent adults that do not live at home with us well into their forties?" I have faith they my children will turn out just fine because

In my greatest momements of mommy joy, I see and share the laughter and wonder on my childrens faces. We have some marvelous times together as a family. We laugh so hard we have tears coming out of eyes at jokes that will only make sense to us. I watch Jonathon teach his sister soccer or him read Brandon a chapter of Junie B. Jones. I listen to Noah and Brandon quote inappropriate movies lines to each other when they think I am not listening. I watch Brandon carry Lauren's dolls. I see Lauren play army and monster with her brothers. I notice Richard tuck his children into bed and read them stories every night that he is home and by countless examples, teach his children to be decent people in this world.

In my faith filled moments, I know I fall far short of being the perfect mom. That's okay. I know I never will be that mom who has the clean house, has the perfect answer all the time, or always has the meal waiting in the crockpot. I am however, the mom that loves her children beyond measure and strives to show them that in my words and actions.