You Just Have To Let Me Go

Tuesday was kindergarten preview day at our school. For the price of your child the school takes your four year old for two nerve (yours and the teachers) racking hours, and lets your child "preview" kindergarten. Lauren was so excited to attend this event. She picked out her clothes the previous night. Painstakingly, she decided upon a pair of jeans and an orange, long-sleeved, Halloween shirt, with the requisite "Christmas ghosts" on it. The outfit was completed by adding her ruby red sparkly shoes as the footwear of choice.

As a mother of four children I have learned that the first child goes to preview day in matching clothes. The fourth child goes to preview day clean and dressed appropriately for the weather; matching clothes are just a bonus.

Well, the morning of big day, I climbed into Lauren's bed to in order to wake her up (she was already awake, but I climbed in anyway). The following is a transcript of the conversation in which she and I engaged:

Me (all mopey,laying next to Lauren):"New little girl that I bought for $2.00 at the store (another game we play), I just can't let you go to kindergarten preview day. I will just miss you too much."

Lauren (cute and cuddly, warm from sleep, looking at me with her big blue eyes): "New mommy, you just have to let me go. I am ready. I can't stay here. I'll give you some extra cuddlebugs* so you won't be sad."

Lauren: "Cuddlebug, Cuddlebug, Cuddlebug. There now put on your happy face and get out of my way. I need to get ready for school."

Me, laying on the bed, silent, stunned while Lauren put on her Halloween shirt.

So, I hauled my numb self up off the bed and shook myself out my "my baby is going to kindergarten" stupor. Of course, Lauren went to school with no trauma, had a fantastic time, was adored by the teachers, and upon picking her up, I was told by Mrs. J., that:

"Lauren has a fantastic imagination! She stood in the kitchen area, holding a baby doll, dialing the phone, and then ordered a pizza! She didn't even drop the baby! She looked at her little baby and said, 'Hold on sweetie, Mommy's ordering pizza!' What a sweetie!"

I told Mrs. J that Lauren was probably just imitating what she learned at home because her mother has an over scheduled life with four kids. It's probably a good thing I don't drop babies when dialing though!

So, beginning in the fall, I will have another child attending school for a full day.
Sometimes the hardest part of being a mom is waving goodbye through the tears and just trusting them when say "Mommy,you just have to let me go."

*Cuddlebug: Excessive hugging while saying the word "cuddlebug." Much gentler than a bearhug.