What Matters (Dedicated to Bonnie and Brigetta)

My friend and I were discussing the blog yesterday and after she sighed, "It must be nice to be that creative all the time. I would have been the mom yelling, "Put on your darn jacket because I am the mom!"

That's when I thought I better do some damage control and reassure everyone that OH YES...I can very much be that mom too. Shockingly, my life is not all being more evil than Darth Vader and my daughter showing off her underwear in gas stations. Believe me, I can drop my kids off at school still wearing my pajamas, with my unbrushed teeth, unwashed face, and uncombed hair, yelling at my (jacketless) kids with the best of the other parents. I can so be that person.

I never think to write about about the: "Check your backpack, brush your teeth, put on your socks and shoes, put your clothes down the laundry chute, take a shower, get ready for bed, stop fighting, DO NOT pick on each other, NO you cannot have soda, NO you cannot beat up your brother, NO he ABSOLUTELY does NOT deserve it, PLEASE get your shoes where they belong, I DON'T CARE WHAT HE DID YOU ARE NOT BEATING HIM UP,no you cannot have a snack five minutes before supper, Why is the jacket on the floor now?, Get in your room I told you not to beat up your brother!!" because I think it is not as entertaining to read what most parents battle most days of the week.

And it is a vicious, vicious, cycle that never ends, just a variation on the same theme, so I tend to write about the funnier moments and glimpses into our lives in order to give all of us moments of relief from this insane roller coaster ride named Parenthood. But I am not this uber creative mom with all the answers. Like most of my friends and fellow parenthood inmates, I am doing the best I can, one day at a time by placing one foot in front of the other and going forward.

Some days I pray to God for strength, wisdom and guidance so that Rich and I can raise our children to become happy and productive members of society. I pray that we have a strong, faith filled, and generous family. Other days, I pray everyone lives long enough to make into their beds without any more tears on their part or mine.

And like everyone else strapped into the ride with only a safety belt and only a scant few warning signs along the way, sometimes the best we can do for the day is put one foot in front of the other and solider forward. Our kids are going to eat McDonald's for supper. Or scrambled eggs and bacon. Or roast beef with all the trimmings. Some days, we have time to play board games with our kids, enjoying the laughter and savoring every moment. Other days our kids look like blurry people that we think we use to spend quality time with (and how did the neighbor kids manage to sneak over to play?). Some days we have time to kiss the boo-boo, apply the cream and Band-aid, and cuddle our kids for a little while until the hurt has eased. Other days we tell 'em to suck it up, rub some dirt in it, and go play.

And guess what? As parents we do not get it right every time. There are days we should have made the roast beef. We strain the budget because we order McDonalds. We rub dirt in and we should have put on the cream & Band-aid. We should have played the board game and listened to what was happening at school. We said, "Hey, you want to go without a jacket and freeze your behind off and be cold, those are your natural consequences." And then worried all day.

The important thing to remember is this:

It doesn't matter if you want to argue Star Wars metaphors with your kids or if you want to tell them to "put on the darn jacket."

What matters is that you love your kids enough to know that is cold and they need to wear their jacket to school this morning. And they went to school wearing their jacket because you love them enough to make them without abusing them to do it.

It matters that you love your child enough to know that you you might not have this parenting thing mastered, but you love them enough to do it to the best of your capabilities.

At the end of these long, sleep deprived days of parenthood that is what matters.