School Supplies

Well, 12 bottles of glue, 8 packages of markers, and 20 boxes of crayons later, school supply shopping is mostly finished. School doesn't start until September 4, in Stevens Point, but I learned my lesson the hard way when Jonathon started kindergarten.

When Jon started school, I waited until the middle of August, three weeks before school started, which seemed like a reasonable amount of time. Rich and I strapped our boys and our two week old baby in the mini van, and headed to school supply section of Wal-Mart, like all naive parents sending their oldest child are wont to do, and arrived, fresh faced at the school supply aisle. Our mistake.

AFTER surveying the decimated, picked-over school supply section, that Wal-mart was not going to restock (I heard the employees thank God they didn't have to restock it anymore) and AFTER parking the shopping cart within a few miles of aforementioned aisle and AFTER checking Jon, Noah, and Brandon for knife marks after they made the mistake of getting to close to a bunch of kids trying to pick out their "take home folders,"

and AFTER almost getting in a fight myself after I politely asked a lady if I could get around her cart (that she had parked in the middle of the aisle) so I could get some markers and AFTER listening to another woman tell her two year old "I ain't buyin' you no stupid box of colors..it's bad enough I gots to git 'em for yer sisters." (I am sure she applied her 20 cent savings to her cigarettes)...and AFTER filling a ridiculous school supply list for a kindergartner to go to public school, I told Rich, "I am NEVER repeating this experience again!"

But I didn't say, "I am NEVER repeating this experience again!" in a calm, organized, wow, that was terrible, but I survived, tone of voice. No, the tone of voice held the implication that Rich knew it was going to be like this, that he probably arranged for these women to be here, on this miserable day in August, just to mess with this sleep deprived, just had my fourth baby two weeks ago, whose oldest is starting school in three weeks, mother, so he could have a good laugh at her expense. (Because, apparently living with me and the kids wasn't misery enough at the time...he had to pay for more.)

Anyway, all he said, in his calm, Richard, way, was, "I don't blame you. I don't want to repeat this fiasco either. " So, even though he looks at the pile by the wall, shaking his head and chuckling because we have school supplies one month in advance, I am much calmer that the kids have their colors* for the new school year and no one was knifed in the process.

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*colors is the Wisconsin word for Crayons. I only used colors in the last sentence to tork Rich because it drives him crazy to hear people say "colors" instead of "crayons." I use the words interchangeably when I am talking, but the above quote "...stupid colors.." the woman is talking about buying a box of 24 count crayons.

(Unwillingly) Giving Up Caffeine

Last week, as part of my migraine management, I had to give up caffeinated drinks. Cold Turkey. No warning. No farewell Diet Pepsi. Just out of the doctors office and off the caffeine.

Monday was great. I thought, okay, I am tired from the Toby Keith concert and sleeping in a hotel, I can recover without a kick from Starbucks. Big deal.

Tuesday morning, no coffee, no problem. I seldom had coffee in college and managed just fine on less sleep. Tuesday, by 2:00pm, with no Diet Pepsi to ease the dull ache of screaming children in the back of my head, while simultaneously providing the sweet, sugary rush of caffeine in my blood, I realized I was just lying to myself and if I didn't get caffeine or drugs, bad things were going to happen. Probably to Rich because he was the most convenient and easiest target. (Apparently, he knew this and was avoiding me for this very reason. Chicken.)

Let's not talk about Wednesday and Thursday. Satan wasn't even willing to make a deal with me those two days. He took one look at me and said, "Lady, not even your eternal soul for all the Starbucks and Diet Pepsi in the world."

Friday, I would have traded Lauren for a can Diet Pepsi. One can. No doubt, the consequences would have been ugly after I drank the forbidden nectar, the regret kicked in, and I had to explain my actions to Rich, but ooohhhh....the temptation.

Saturday, I had tears in my eyes when my friend poured her mom, her stepmom, and her self cups of regular coffee and they all drank them in front of me. And later that same day, I arrived to the very sad conclusion, that no matter how much I ate, it wasn't going to transform into caffeine.

Fortunately for me, but not as funny for you, Sunday I was fine. No cravings.

I do want to point out that I did this while I was on medication to manage headaches, which made a potentially crippling situation a little less so, but not less stressful. Seriously, going off caffeine without a plan can have some very serious medical side effects, none for which I want to be responsible, so if you are even (shudder) considering (think very long and hard) about giving up caffeine (stop and think some more) please make sure you talk to your medical provider.

Hey, I don't want to be the one responsible for making deals with the devil or trading your kids for a can of Diet Pepsi.

I didn't realize it has been so long since the last post. I assure you, it is not from a lack of things to report, but a lack of time in which to report them. After a week of non-stop action, today the kids and I are sitting are sitting around doing nothing. I am writing this blog so I can keep procrastinating the start of cleaning up the house. I don't have one theme or story to tell this time, so below you will just find random transcripts/stories from my life spanning the past ten days.

The evening of July 1, Rich and I took our children to see the fireworks at Pfiffner Park in Stevens Point. Darkness descends, the fireworks are starting, the kids are impressed, and some persons car alarm goes off every time the fireworks sound. Noah thought this was the most hilarious thing ever. By the third time it happened, I was ready to throw a rock through the car window so the alarm had a reason to go off. By the fifth time, Rich and I were exchanging annoyed looks, but Noah was laughing so hard almost had tears coming out of his eyes. I said, "Noah, why is this funny?" He said, "I don't Mom, I just can't stop laughing about it." We started laughing because Noah's laugh was so infectious. Even the people around us were chuckling after awhile. Noah definitely made an extremely annoying situation much better.

This quick to laughter child is the same child however, on the following Friday, after I came home from the Bon Jovi concert, told me, with tears streaming down his face, that, "Mom, while you were gone, Daddy made us eat leftovers!" I barely held a straight face. I very solemnly replied: "Yes, Noah, I understand. My daddy used to make me eat leftovers, too!" "Poor Noah" had to endure leftovers from our July 4th cookout. I don't know how he has survived living here this long.

The kids also spent two days with my Mom and Dad this past weekend so that Rich and I could attend the Toby Keith concert at Summerfest. (The concert was fantastic, the ninety five degree heat and humidity not so great.) I called to see how everything was going and Jon said, things are great, the beach was fun, and then asked if I would buy him a pack of Pokemon cards because he didn't get to see me for two days. Do these kids get a manual on how to compile guilt? Wow. That one caught me out of left field, too, but I was on the phone, so I didn't need time to compose myself before I said, "NO!"