School Supplies

Well, 12 bottles of glue, 8 packages of markers, and 20 boxes of crayons later, school supply shopping is mostly finished. School doesn't start until September 4, in Stevens Point, but I learned my lesson the hard way when Jonathon started kindergarten.

When Jon started school, I waited until the middle of August, three weeks before school started, which seemed like a reasonable amount of time. Rich and I strapped our boys and our two week old baby in the mini van, and headed to school supply section of Wal-Mart, like all naive parents sending their oldest child are wont to do, and arrived, fresh faced at the school supply aisle. Our mistake.

AFTER surveying the decimated, picked-over school supply section, that Wal-mart was not going to restock (I heard the employees thank God they didn't have to restock it anymore) and AFTER parking the shopping cart within a few miles of aforementioned aisle and AFTER checking Jon, Noah, and Brandon for knife marks after they made the mistake of getting to close to a bunch of kids trying to pick out their "take home folders,"

and AFTER almost getting in a fight myself after I politely asked a lady if I could get around her cart (that she had parked in the middle of the aisle) so I could get some markers and AFTER listening to another woman tell her two year old "I ain't buyin' you no stupid box of colors..it's bad enough I gots to git 'em for yer sisters." (I am sure she applied her 20 cent savings to her cigarettes)...and AFTER filling a ridiculous school supply list for a kindergartner to go to public school, I told Rich, "I am NEVER repeating this experience again!"

But I didn't say, "I am NEVER repeating this experience again!" in a calm, organized, wow, that was terrible, but I survived, tone of voice. No, the tone of voice held the implication that Rich knew it was going to be like this, that he probably arranged for these women to be here, on this miserable day in August, just to mess with this sleep deprived, just had my fourth baby two weeks ago, whose oldest is starting school in three weeks, mother, so he could have a good laugh at her expense. (Because, apparently living with me and the kids wasn't misery enough at the time...he had to pay for more.)

Anyway, all he said, in his calm, Richard, way, was, "I don't blame you. I don't want to repeat this fiasco either. " So, even though he looks at the pile by the wall, shaking his head and chuckling because we have school supplies one month in advance, I am much calmer that the kids have their colors* for the new school year and no one was knifed in the process.

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*colors is the Wisconsin word for Crayons. I only used colors in the last sentence to tork Rich because it drives him crazy to hear people say "colors" instead of "crayons." I use the words interchangeably when I am talking, but the above quote "...stupid colors.." the woman is talking about buying a box of 24 count crayons.