First Communion and Trash Talk

I did not mean to go on hiatus from the blog. I meant to go into the Witness Protection Program, running and screaming from my life, especially when we were hit with a two month plague that included the flu, strep throat, Fith's disease, and a host of other illnesses that children share when they lick each other at school. However, the government cannot change your unique "momminess" to your unique children and mine kept finding me.

After abandoning that plan, Richard and I found a home to purchase four miles from where we live now, which is consuming even more time, as once again I am packing up our lives and placing them into cardboard boxes. Anyway, those are my lame excuses; on with the blog.

Yesterday, after soccer practice, Jonathon's coach, October (yes her real name), asked me to walk with her; telling Jon to kick the ball around with his teammates. Before I relate the story, here a point of clarification: Sarah is the co-coach of Jon's team, but for Monday night's game she was the center referee because the two teams needed one.

The conversation:

October: "So Sarah was reffing the game last night. The kids were lined up and all of a sudden she hears this voice say, 'You're not getting this ball!' She looks around and realizes it came from Jonathon!! Quiet, never says a word, your kid Jonathon! Your kid was trash talking! Of all the kids we couldn't believe it because we've been trying to get him communicate with his teammates all season and now we realized why hasn't been....he's too busy talking to the other team."

So, I am in total disbelief, kind of half-laughing, but still looking at her, like I hear what your saying, but not it's not sinking in...my mind is thinking, Jonathon? not Brandon? right? Wow, okay, but huh, my kid, really? So I waved Sarah over, and she explained everything all over to me and said, "I was thinking about calling it, but remembered I was the ref, not the coach, and when I saw it was the kid that hadn't said seven words all season, I was shocked I just kind of shrugged and thought okay buddy."

Sarah then proceed to explain that parents would be shocked if they knew how much talking goes on between opponents during a soccer game, but even she was a little shocked at how much was going on during her U10 game, considering it was nine and ten year olds.

I looked at both of them and said, "Well, how do you want me to handle this as his mom. What should I say to him?" They both quickly replied, "NOTHING!!" because apparently, at this level of sports, unless your coach, not your ref, flat out catches you trash talking, it's a non-coachable, non-punishable, part of the game, and no one is really, what's the word, ummm....poleaxed? ummm....shaking their head? ummm...mommed? over it like I am. Rich told me trash talking is all a part of getting into your opponents head.

However my response after that conversation, to both of the coaches, with my hand to my heart, blinking my eyes rapidly was: "On Sunday he is making his First Holy Communion and on Monday he is trash talking. It just warms my heart." And then I let out a big sigh the way only moms can do, shook my head, and laughed the laugh of a mom in total disbelief that she even had this conversation.

Jonathon did know something was up because on the ride to Noah's baseball game, as soon as I stopped at the first light, he started asking me what the coaches and I had been discussing. Jon and I did discuss the trash talking, but all I said about it is what his coaches said, "If you have time time to trash talk you have time to communicate with your teammates." Jon is taking that under consideration.

So, you better be satisfied with this first blog after the hiatus or I will have my nine year old leave nasty messages on your voice mail.